For change that works...

For change that works...

You cannot change when it is incongruent with your true identity.

Not too long ago, I was "The Phone Warrior". I grit my teeth and picked up the phone to do battle. I would call more than everybody because I was going to set more appointments than everybody. It did work. The problem was when I entered back into family life, I was still wearing the mindset I had forced upon myself.

"Dad, what's wrong?" "Did you have a bad day at work?" "Do you hate your job?" were the questions I would hear from my kids.

This wasn't anything new, it was the accumulation of 16 years of being a sales professional. The best sales pro's seemed to be "warriors", so for half of my career, I adopted this identity as my own. I never took the time to evaluate my own place of strength. The warrior thing worked, so why bother changing?

My answer came when I was doing work that I loved in a manner that was not congruent with my true identity. I am my best when I function from a place of FUN and JOY.

After a week of noticing my family's concern for my happiness, I decided that I would change- not just my habits, but who I was. I wanted to become joyful. I knew that that was my place of strength.

"I am the most joyful man I know!" -me, to myself

"I am the most joyful man I know!" The habits that came from choosing this identity have been life-changing, and in a lot of ways...EASY.

"The joy of the Lord is our strength." -Nehemiah 8:10

Instead of focusing on a behavior to reach a goal, here is what I have found to work: Change from purpose. This means changing your identity from the default that exists now to the one that you want-INTENTIONALLY. Rather than focusing on an outcome or a behavior, figure out what you want to FEEL and WHAT KIND OF PERSON YOU WANT TO BE. 

Change your identity!

  • Who do you want to BE/BECOME? 
  • Do you see this as possible?
  • How could this happen?
  • What kind of habits would this person have?

Become resolved to become the kind of person who has those type of habits and gets those type of results. Be the person, and you will act like that person, creating results from those actions. When you have reached your goals, you keep on moving. 

It's not just about where you are going and what you are achieving, but who you are becoming.

Have you ever untwisted yourself from a default identity and been liberated to your true place of strength? How did you do it?

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Aaron Milner ??

Sales and SDR leader sharing my techstack secrets

5 年

Amazing!?

????Jonathan Mahan

Fueled by dual passions for both Sales and Sustainability | Founder @ The Practice Lab | Hobby Permaculturist | Dad of 3

5 年

I haven't finished AH yet but I read Infinite Game just recently and it had a HUGE impact on my 2020 planning, in fact it was so good I've already purchased it as a gift for one of my friends

回复
????Jonathan Mahan

Fueled by dual passions for both Sales and Sustainability | Founder @ The Practice Lab | Hobby Permaculturist | Dad of 3

5 年

And when you said "When you have reached your goals, you keep on moving. It's not just about where you are going and what you are achieving, but who you are becoming." Is reminded me of some of the concepts covered in Simon Sinek's "The Infinite Game". All in all a great post my friend. Keep it up!

????Jonathan Mahan

Fueled by dual passions for both Sales and Sustainability | Founder @ The Practice Lab | Hobby Permaculturist | Dad of 3

5 年

In the book Atomic Habits the author talks about changing your identity in order to change your behaviors.

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