Is Change Possible?

We tell our friends and relatives struggling with troublesome colleagues at work or in personal relationships to avoid trying to change people. “People don’t change,” we say in our wisest tone of voice.

Then we turn around and tell OURSELVES that we CAN change. We’ll lose those pounds. We’ll manage our time better. We’ll pay off those credit cards.

Riiiiiiight.

All the time we are pointing out what we feel is so painfully obvious about human nature – that change is impossible – we convince ourselves that we are somehow above this axiom. WE CAN CHANGE.

Well, forget about it. I had a terrific year in 2014 but I am not proud of the things I wanted to do that didn’t get done and the mountain of work facing me in 2015. This is to say nothing of the endless flow of incoming obligations.

I had a thought in my mind to share some sage advice about how I was going to change my ways and work more intelligently and efficiently in 2015. I was going to get better at triaging my email – ie. clean out my inbox – and limit my pro bono work – in favor of working strictly on the clock to fulfill client obligations etc. There are a few household projects that are waiting for attention in 2015 as well.

And then I realized the very reason I have clients is my willingness to drop everything for a phone call or email, to listen to a pitch from a start-up and make a few strategic introductions, to help someone find their next job, to share my thoughts openly with clients and non-clients. It’s that willingness and openness that led me to discover dozens of fascinating people and their stories and struggles and their products and services in 2014.

Chance glances at press releases or meetings at trade shows or seminars, mentions in newsletters or in postings on LinkedIn time and again took me on a magical, mystical voyage of discovery which put me in close touch with the innovative heart and soul of the industry in which I work. I used to think I was pretty passionate about my business before I met executives fighting desperately for attention, resources and capital. It's one of the reasons I could never work in an open plan office - too much shouting on the phone... by me. ;-)

Even one missed or ignored phone call could have cut me off from a wider path of discovery. Each connection was like a missing piece in a puzzle or an unconnected dot which, together, completed the picture of a successful 2014.

If I am not going to change in the new year (no resolutions here), is there anything I can share?

Sure, a couple things.

1. Nothing makes a bigger impression than shutting off and putting away your mobile phone during a meeting. It is a common courtesy that speaks volumes.
2. Don’t insist on showing me your demo. Just tell me about your idea. Demos fail.
   
3. Stop using sleep mode and just shut off your computer. (My son tells me that using "sleep" is fragmenting my hard drive.)

I made some solid contributions during the year, but not without a lot of help from friends, colleagues, clients and family. I hope to do better in 2015.

As I think about how hard it is to change I am reminded of the many friends and acquaintances who have made physical changes for health reasons. You know these folks when you see them because they have lost dozens of pounds either through surgery or necessary discipline – on doctor’s advice and in order to continue living.

So these are the exceptions that prove the rule. Losing weight, as a single example, has become recognized as being so difficult it often requires surgery. But even after surgery you will have to change your diet, and exercise.

Change is not inevitable but change can be enforced. I do want to make changes in the new year, but I don’t want to pretend change is easy and I don’t want to jinx my efforts to evolve by detailing them here. I do want to add, that I have made changes in the past at the request of my spouse. Those are good and wise changes to make – so that’s another exception.

For 2015, change if you can. If you can’t, emphasize whatever worked best for you in 2014. (Maybe those things you feel are flaws are actually your strengths, like the former CEO of JetBlue, David Neeleman, for whom attention deficit hyperactive disorder became an asset.)

Turn in the direction of the skid. Cheers.