Change, Pain, Wisdom & The Knowledge Café Option

The Knowledge Café OPTION: Wisdom to Deal with the Pain Associated with Loss from Change (Part 1)

In this article, I will concentrate on the pain associated with the loss people incurred because of change. Make no mistake about it; change naturally leaves people bleeding, not just because of the change but because of what they lost. My recommendation is, don’t be a jackass to people who are grieving, even if what they lost is their old trash can. Everyone has the right to grieve. Because the mind is foolish and bias, we need wisdom. Wisdom, the comprehensive enhancement of our cognition is applied knowledge. It is the only rationality, insight, and intelligence that is self-correcting and self-transcending. 

One role of our cognitive function and as intelligent agents is our ability to identify relevance and find patterns in a knowledge economy. I’ve found the space and mindset where this can be done painlessly—The Knowledge Café.  

Two of my kids were born while we lived in this one-story house for twelve years. Yet, they had admired a two-story building all the while. In the fall of 2016, they objected, even resisted our selling the house for a bigger and better home in a better neighborhood. Since the kids don’t run the house (at least in mine), we made the strategic decision to move. The new neighborhood schools are the best in the county, both in academics and sports. Last year, my daughter’s 7th grade, girls’ volleyball, and basketball teams were the teams to beat—they were almost undefeated; won all the regional championships. My son’s 8th grade, boys’ football team, was also undefeated champions. How the academic standard, compared with others in the region, was unmatched. 

I know that they lost some of their friends when we moved, but now they confess to have better friends and enjoy the neighborhood. Our neighborhood now is very peaceful, with more amenities, and the list goes on. However, every time I drive past our old house with the kids, they are just melting down. They still prefer our old house. They are still in pain for losing their childhood home. This is very emotional. I can either tell my kids to suck it up, we live in a better home, which would be an appalling response, or, bring the kids to a knowledge Café, and do the following: Café 

● Identify with their pain

● Bring all players into The Knowledge Café to reconnaissance lessons learned

● Accept their pain

● Walk them through the process of managing and getting over the pain

● Move them into the now and the future

Obviously, we need wisdom from experience and knowledge to deal with stressful situations. Wisdom, just like knowledge, is contextual. You can be intelligent and lack wisdom, but you cannot have wisdom and lack insight.

The cafe is the space for insight. Here, hindsight, insight, and foresight kiss themselves.  

Knowledge is Power! The purpose of knowledge is wisdom. A Knowledge Café mindset is an excellent prescription for demystifying complex and sticky issues like change and the painful residues it leaves behind. The mindset and atmosphere of a relational Café provide the simplicity, passion, and the ecosystem to begin a discussion—investigate, share, and café; this applies to both work and personal lives. 

In part 2 of this article, I shall identify the signs of grieving due to change-pain along with a fully detailed recommendation on how to approach pain as a result of the change. I have found that conferences or workshops are poorly inadequate to heal victims of this pain. Bringing those who grieve because they are affected by the change to a Knowledge Café will reveal that this is a space where the conversation is king. It’s a two-way and straightforward discussion to share knowledge, solve problems, and create new knowledge. 

Benjamin Anyacho, PMP, is a quintessential project manager and knowledge management strategist in Austin, Texas. He has presented several powerful and original ideas in workshops and conferences, including PMI global conferences and Leadership Institute Meetings.