Change Makers Book Club: Emotional Agility by Susan David
How do our emotional lives affect our readiness for change?
Answering that question is one of the main reasons psychologist Susan David wrote Emotional Agility. I interviewed Susan for the most recent episode of my Change Makers Book Club.
Here are my three big takeaways from what she said.
- Big changes start small. If you spend some time with Susan’s ideas, you might discover, as I did, that there’s a bigger gap between where you want to be in your life and career and where you are at the moment. Realizing this can help clarify your goals, but it can also be daunting. It leaves us wondering: “Where do I start to change?” The answer, according to Susan, is to look for small ways to align who you want to be with what you do. If your ultimate goal is to change job functions, for example, one small way to start might be to ask your team if you can sit in on meetings or be included in email chains related to the type of work you want to do. It might not seem like much, but it’ll start to close the gap.
- Our difficult emotions are signposts to the things we care about. Guilt, fear, annoyance. These feelings can be tough to acknowledge, even though we all feel them from time to time. But it’s precisely by acknowledging them that we learn what areas of life we most need to change. If we’re annoyed that a colleague stole our idea at work, it might be a hint about just how important fairness and honesty in our set of values. It might also be a clue that there was something about our idea that was really important to us. If we listen to them, even our negative emotions can be teachers.
- Strive to work at the edge of your ability. If you find yourself going into most situations knowing exactly what’s going to happen, then you’re probably not challenging yourself enough. To make sure you're continuing to learn and grow, look for a certain amount of discomfort, anticipation, or excitement throughout your working day. Too much, and you’re over-challenged. To little or none at all? Time to look for a new way forward.
Being emotionally agile at work doesn’t mean wearing your heart on your sleeve, but it does mean being honest with yourself about what emotions you’re feeling, and being open to why you’re feeling them.
How do you approach the emotions you feel about your job? What about Susan’s interview struck you? Let me know in the comments!
President at LG Engineering, LLC
7 年Too much emotion is not a good thing, some real intelligence may help this country to remain competitive with emerging markets which are not contaminated by the irrational movement behind Comstock and Immelt
Part-Time Instructor @ UNR
7 年It's a good book. It helped me in some ways...thank you for sharing the book.
Sr. Enterprise Applications Engineer at GE
7 年If combining emotional agility with emotional intelligence, we may be getting at a truly unique and beneficial concept. I have not read Emotional Agility as yet but have just watched this video and Beth's comments (thank you for them). However, consider that our emotional responses occur quicker than our logical thinking. Quick emotional responses are not always logical but programmed based on past experiences. If we take a few moments to allow the neurological paths to make it to the logical part of our brain and recognize and consider the emotions as signposts of importance, that something here needs to be evaluated for importance to us or otherwise, we could really begin to understand ourselves and create very effective responses that cut to our own true self but stay diplomatic.
Headmaster
7 年one, two and three get secret free!