Change Lessons From Shopping in Italy

Not speaking a language creates change resilience.

Planning a family dinner, I decided to try the “macelleria” – the butcher – in the piazza.? I was anxious as I had never shopped in this store and was fresh off a shopping disaster (see below for links to prior stories). Standing in front of the meat case, I asked for “lonza di maiale” – the term for pork loin I memorized from Google Translate. I expected what I normally got in New York.??Instead, the butcher picked up a slab of pork on the bone and proceeded to cut it into chops. They were not what I wanted but I was too embarrassed to stop him.??As I waited, I looked down at the meat case seeing the boneless pork loin I did want.???I left the shop with the chops and the loin, too much meat.??Why was I so timid and inpatient???I could not wait to leave the store, wanting to escape that feeling of not knowing what I was doing, of feeling inept.??Exiting the shop as quickly as possible was my one and only goal. That night, my family loved the roasted pork loin with balsamic peaches.??The pork chops were untouched.??

Why it Matters

With change, comes discomfort.??With discomfort, comes the urge to flee.??In such a state we hurry through the motions, neglecting the importance of reflection.??We act hastily so we regain our stability and confidence.??Taking a pause, catching our breath can save us from rash decisions - and too much pork.

As we adjusted to our Italian lifestyle, we found ourselves shopping daily. For example, clothes dryers are uncommon, so off we went in search of clothespins.??I walked into the small convenience store in the piazza and approached the cashier. Not knowing the word for clothespins, I started with a word I did know "lavenderia"?(laundry).??“Buongiorno, lavenderia, per favore?”

The cashier looking slightly perplexed, motioned to follow her, leading me to shelves of laundry detergent.??Emboldened by the fact that we were in the right section of the store but stymied as I had no more words to use, I pantomimed hanging clothes, my fingers playing castanets in the air. She reached up and grabbed a pack of blue clothespins; I nodded yes. We laughed at our charade and smiled as we succeeded in accomplishing my goal: clothespins.

Why It Matters

Change may require us to learn new words?and their meanings – acronyms of our acquirers, terms for emerging technologies, new interpretations by a different generation.??Working together to communicate helps us reach a common understanding.??Don’t assume you know the words and their meaning until there is evidence you do - blue clothespins.?

I was becoming more comfortable in the piazza shops as we started to be recognized and welcomed. Ah, New York, some would call out on our strolls around town.??On one walk, I ventured into the cheese shop and saw a machine with cheese being grated for a customer.?When it was my turn, I asked for parmagiano and pointed to the grating machine. The young proprietor said "grattugiato" (grated).??I repeated it and as with most multisyllabic Italian words, I stumbled over it.??He smiled and kept repeating grat-tu-gia-to slowly until I repeated it correctly.??Only then did he turn around and grate my cheese. Grazie mille for the cheese and the lesson.

Why It Matters

Change requires not only our patience but the patience of those around us.?With new ways of working, we will trip up.??Having the courage to try and try again and having someone who takes the time to coach us is how we become proficient and get rewarded - with grated cheese.

Being change resilient means we bounce back from failure and challenge ourselves to adapt and learn. We don't always do it alone but we can do it, if we open ourselves up for help, and try again.

To catch up on my prior change lessons from shopping in Italy see https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/change-lessons-from-italian-supermarket-mary-cianni-phd and https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/change-lessons-from-italian-supermarket-part-2-mary-cianni-phd