Change

The Practice of Gratitude

A few years ago, a study was released that seemed to explain why a friend of mine can’t get on board with the likes of Machine Gun Kelly, and why back in my day, my parents thought Guns ’N’ Roses was mindless cacophony. The study compiled data from music streaming services, analyzed the data, and found that people generally stop discovering new music right around the same age: thirty-three.

Yup, at the ripe old age of thirty-three, your music tastes are fully baked. You lose the drive to seek out new genres and artists. “For the average listener,” the study concludes, “by their mid-thirties, their tastes have matured, and they are who they’re going to be.”

Well, that’s bleak, isn’t it?

I love reading studies like these, studies that “prove” that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, that we’re all just jell-o waiting to fully set in our molds. I love it because I simply don’t believe it to be true. And the idea that our brains are capable of adaptation only up to a certain age goes against years of scientific evidence — evidence I’ve observed in my work. I’ve known people who have been completely set in their jell-o molds, and with simple shifts in perspective and behavior, have completely changed their outlook.

They no longer have to think about thinking differently — they just do. They’ve changed their brains.

This is the concept of neuroplasticity: that brains have the ability to adapt, and that our environments impact this adaptation.

Up through the mid-20th century, our understanding of the human brain rested on the theory that only children and adolescents, with their growing and developing brains, are capable of changes in brain structure and function — their brains are “plastic.”

But in the years since, countless studies have demonstrated adult neuroplasticity as well. Adult brains can not only learn new things, they can change and rebuild their structures, for better or worse.

This creates an enormous opportunity. By changing our environment and our behavior, and by choosing to think differently, we are able to form new connections and pathways in the brain. We are able to fundamentally change how we see and react to the world.

The Practice of Gratitude

How do you practice the way you show up in the world? How do you practice this new way of thinking?

The answer is simple: gratitude.

Just like the trombone your mom made you practice back in middle school (or insert whatever unwieldy rented musical instrument you lugged around in a beat-up case), getting good at gratitude requires practicing it over and over.

Gratitude has such a strong effect because it trains your brain to focus on the positive. Feelings of gratitude activate our favorite feel-good brain chemical, dopamine. You know how dopamine works by now: when you get a rush of it, you’re motivated to repeat the action that caused it. In this case, it’s practicing gratitude that causes a virtuous cycle.

Robert A. Emmons, professor of psychology at the University of California, Davis, and a leading researcher on the science of gratitude, suggests through his research that people who keep regular gratitude lists are more likely to:

? Experience positive physical effects, such as fewer ailments

? Feel more optimistic about the upcoming week

? Make progress toward important personal goals

? Feel alert, enthusiastic, and attentive

? Help someone with a personal problem or offer emotional support

Additionally, depression symptoms ease the more grateful a person becomes, another effect uncovered by a group of Chinese researchers. They studied gratitude as it relates to insomnia and anxiety, as well. Good news: Being thankful leads to better sleep and, as a result, less anxiety.

The Simple Power of “Thank?You”

About half of employees say they are thanked less than once a week by their supervisor, according to researchers at USC Marshall School of Business. Colleagues do a better job of showing gratitude to one another — nearly three-quarters say they’re thanked by coworkers at least once a week.

A paycheck simply isn’t enough to feel understood and valued, to build relationships, and to have a happy, productive team.

When you start scanning for the positive and savoring it when you find it, you’ll notice opportunities and seize them. Psychologists call this “predictive encoding.” Priming yourself to expect a favorable outcome encodes the brain to recognize the outcome when it arises. When you’re armed with positivity, your brain stays open to possibility.

A Grateful Workplace

The impact of gratitude in reducing stress is downright predictable. I challenge people in this way all the time. If someone is stressed about something — if they’re about to give a presentation, for instance — I’ll ask them to fire off three things they’re grateful for. When they stop to consider the question, they relax. They simply can’t be grateful and stressed simultaneously.

Through the magic of neuroplasticity, we can actually change our brains by practicing gratitude. Our brains learn to focus on the positive. We learn to stop seeing the bear behind every corner. Instead, we only see the bear when he actually rears his toothy head.

Gratitude in?Action

Here’s the action plan to begin practicing gratitude with your team — and solidify the practice of all the hard work you’ve put in to spark brilliance.

Start with Gratitude

Some leaders end their meetings with a round of gratitude, but I like setting the tone by showing appreciation before diving into the agenda. Not only does it lead to more positive meetings, it also gives the practice its due respect. Focusing on what we’re thankful for has so many benefits, as you’ve read — it shouldn’t be put off to the end and rushed.

Gratitude Jar

Find an interesting vessel for this one — some sort of jar that’s clearly not an office supply. Next to it, place embossed cards and a nice pen. (Sure, plain ol’ scraps of paper or index cards work, too, but there’s something compelling about specialty stationery.)

When the notion strikes, team members write what they’re grateful for and put it in the jar. At the end of the week, the messages are read aloud at a meeting or a casual hangout.

The gratitude jar creates an opportunity to show appreciation for someone who helped you out of a jam or put in some extra hours to finish a task. Or, you can call out someone who routinely does great work and is dependable, kind, or funny.

Gratitude Wall

We’ve talked about Win Walls, which are goal- and progress-focused. Gratitude walls are similar, but their purpose is to allow people to create a highly visible reminder of the power of being thankful. You can also set up an electronic version of this on a gratitude-focused Slack channel. Whenever someone needs a pick-me-up, they can read what their coworkers appreciate or add their own item to the list.

Icebreaker

One of my favorite icebreakers is to go around and have everyone share something they’re grateful for. It’s that simple. It’s a great way to shift the mood from stressed or distracted to focused and positive. Plus, it helps people learn more about one another, which strengthens authentic connections.

Group Gratitude Text

This exercise is best for smaller teams (ideally, five or less) who agree to opt in to a 21-day gratitude challenge. For three weeks, each person sends a daily text to the group, sharing three things they’re grateful for.

I tend to leave it open, allowing people to choose how much they want to share or how vulnerable they want to be. And no matter how deep people go, results happen, I’ve found. People are happier, more helpful, and less stressed.

Practice makes — well, not perfect. We’re not aiming for perfection. Practice makes progress. We always have more room to grow; there’s no endpoint to our spark.