CHANGE- The Hate Catalyst

Whilst I was drafting the idea of change in my mind, I was at the Mumbai airport waiting for an impending Air India flight to Trivandrum. As usual, they were unapologetic about the situation and this had become a routine for the employees. I did not find it reasonable to shout at those hapless youngsters as this has become a routine affair for them. To an extent, even I was used to these delays since Trivandrum - Mumbai, best connectivity at a reasonable rate was offered mostly by Air India. Whilst standing in the long queue after a 5-hour delay, I saw people segregated in to two lines. The first one was as long as a national highway and the other one was not even 1/4th the length. But I didn’t see anyone looking at the adjacent queue which would take them to the same flight. They all were looking ahead at the counter and making all faces of frustration. I just moved conveniently to the other queue and cleared my boarding and walked in to the flight. The middle aged man who was standing in front of me, came to me after 20 minutes and gave me a ridiculous look of failure. I kept wondering why they didn’t decide to move to the adjacent queue and cut short the long queue. That's when I realised, people hate to change frequently. Once they're settled with something after a long struggle, it becomes difficult for them to change their frame of mind. They simply hate the process of change or the fact that, they need to start all over again. Then of course there's a fear of failure as well. But have you ever wondered how will you grow in life without moving from one place to another?

The first question that you need to ask yourself before reading this chapter is "Do you want to grow in your life?" This includes financial growth, emotional growth, growth in your career, growth in relationship and every aspect of life. If your answer is YES, only then read further. 

The word saturation is very important here. Some people are so happy and content with what they have, they have just failed to grow in their career. Like those many teachers I see around in my line of work or government employees (who are by default) reluctant to change. Why people are not ready to change? 

1. They fear failure and its consequences. It becomes impossible to think of giving it a try by sacrificing whatever they have already. 

2. The whole feeling of laziness to think of moving ahead in life 

3. The idea of being satisfied with whatever they have in life. 

If your answer is yes to my question, you need to overcome the first two points. The third point is an individual choice and no one can influence you. My book will be the least influential factor to let you even ponder over the third point. 

Instead of using the word fear of failure, let me rephrase it for you. Shall we start saying "the idea of failure"? There's huge difference in saying fear and idea in this context. The moment you say, fear, that means you've accepted defeat even before starting the race. Whereas the idea of failure makes you cautious and better prepares you to be more agile with whatever you want to do. I presume, this shift in attitude from fear of failure to idea of failure is the first step that you need to take in life. The idea of failure brings in nervousness and jitters. But it never frustrates you. There's much more to failure than success. Always remember "We would rather try and fail than fear and do nothing."

There are essentially few things that all of us in fear in our lives. List out those fears in a paper. Now ask yourself, how many of those fears have you tried yet in life. The answer will be an astonishing 80% where you have not even experienced it. Unless and until, we experience something, how can that create fear in you. 

Students often come and complain about public speaking fear. Standing in front of a crowd and delivering a speech. We instantly ask them, have you ever done it in your life and pat comes the reply "NO". This is where we need to keep few things in mind 

1. Make a decision to think about idea and not fear

2. Talk to people who have already experienced what you fear 

3. Read about what is required. 

4. Watch videos of how people have done it 

5. Run the idea in your mind as many times as possible 

6. Ensure you have enough material and people to support you in your endeavour 

7. Relatively try it with a less impactful situation where they stakes are less

8. Prepare yourself for bigger stages

9. Understand you're the best critic of your actions 

10. Appreciate yourself with something once you've done it even if you failed. Because attempting is the key and not success.

11. Change is all about conducting what you want and not about success. This is the common mistake we all make. We associate change with success. Why don't we tell ourselves change is about the attempt and not winning all the time. 

3/10 people will attempt what they want fear in life. Now ask yourself, do you want to belong to the former 30% or the latter 70% who doesn't want to even move one bit to attempt what you fear. No one talks about failure first time. Everyone appreciates the effort when you attempt it for the first time. That's the kind of mindset and expectation you need to set it with yourself whilst thinking of attempting something. Let it be a public speaking forum. Think about the attempt and not the accolades. Understand the excitement of the process. Only when your heart pumps you enjoy the victory more. Think about all your favourite Tendulkar centuries and you'll put the Sharjah century against Australia at the top because that match gave you the biggest excitement and the fear. Sometimes nervousness is fantastic because it makes your attempt that much more exciting. You need to look back to feel the excitement with such things and it never gives you the excitement in the beginning.

"Whatever starts with fear, will bring you excitement once you finish it." 

Why do we get in to analysis of fear? Rather analyse the risk. We often think about the fear and not what we want to do. What we want to do is closer to your heart but what you fear is in your mind. It comes from two different zones. Keep the risk minimum and make the attempt. That gives you confidence. The first time when you drive, no one asks you take the car to the highway. They will ask you take a drive in a road where there's less traffic or literally no vehicles. Every time you want to attempt something, keep the stakes low and see how do you fare. But don't just stop there. Keep it consistent and make the attempt a habit. Don't set permanent bars but keep it as short term goals. 

Change is beautiful if you embrace the idea of preparing yourself and attempting to start with stakes minimal. Once you're consistent with this, it becomes a habit. And more than the joy of succeeding, the idea of going through the process gives you the bigger high. Don't wait for things to happen because all you'll have in life is opportunities. You need to make it happen. When you wish for lemon juice, god gives you only lemon. Now you decide what you want to do with it. And that opportunity doesn't come knocking again and again at your door. When it indeed happens, be prepared and give it your best. Because opportunities are to be respected and not ignored because of failure. And sometimes you'll have to create the opportunity for yourself. Talk to people, explore information, read sources and travel wherever it is required. Life is too short to be put in paralysis of fear. That fear neither gives you pain nor give you relief, hence the word paralysis. If you can put those opportunities in to a basket of idea of fear, you'll feel it is worth giving it a shot, if not for anyone else, but for you. 

"You always enjoy the best of the view from the top of a building. Precisely, if you want to enjoy life, never stop your journey at a particular height. Always aim to grow higher and look at the top. Because that's where the best view of life is enjoyed at.”

LET’S LEAVE THE RAT RACES FOR THE RATS. AND KEEP HUMANS OUT OF THIS.