Change is Hard

Anyone Who Tells You Different is Selling You Something.

At the core of all human behaviour lies a profound need: the desire for us to act in accordance with our self-perception, which is to say who we think we are. This inbuilt motivation compels us to align our actions with our internal identity, which encompasses our values, beliefs, and personal image, which shows through outwardly into who we are. Essentially, we strive to live up to the standards we've established for ourselves within our minds. This fact plays a critical role in shaping our lives, influencing our decisions, actions, and overall sense of well-being, and most of all affects our ability to change.

The Pursuit of Self-Consistency

The need for consistency with our self-image is pivotal in understanding human behaviour. It derives from our desire to achieve internal harmony, where our thoughts, feelings, and actions are aligned. This is because it prevents cognitive dissonance—a psychological discomfort that arises from holding contradictory beliefs or engaging in actions that conflict with our self-image, it is uncomfortable and therefore we do not want to experience it. This drive for consistency helps maintain our emotional stability by ensuring that who we are internally is mirrored in our external actions.

Guiding Our Choices

Our self-perception massively impacts our decision-making. When faced with choices, we are naturally drawn towards options that best fit our self-view. For example, someone who perceives themselves as compassionate is likely to choose paths or actions that reflect empathy and kindness, even when more self-serving alternatives exist. This alignment with our internal self-image guides us not just towards what decisions to make it drives us towards creating a life path that resonates with that internal image of ourselves.

Positive Aspects of Living Authentically

Aligning our actions with our self-image brings several benefits. It nurtures self-esteem as we perceive ourselves as living in congruence with who we think we are, reinforcing that positive self-image. It also provides a sense of purpose, as our actions are consistent with our core values, motivating us to pursue objectives that offer value to what we believe is important. This alignment ensures that our pursuits are meaningful to us.

The Double-Edged Sword of Self-Perception

While acting in accordance with self-perception is healthy, it also carries some potential drawbacks. When your self-view is inaccurate, rigid, or limiting, it can box you into a comfort zone, blocking your personal growth and removes any exploration of new experiences. For instance, if someone views themselves as inherently shy, they are going to avoid social opportunities that could spur growth and confidence-building. Therefore, it's crucial to constantly review our self-perception so we remain flexible and open to growth, this is turn is is how we embrace new challenges and start to accept change.

Understanding the compelling need to align with your self-identity is key to personal development and personal development is key to any other goal you wish to achieve, after all if you are going to achieve something, you have never achieved before you are going to have to do something you have never done before. By recognising both the constructive and limiting aspects of self-identity, we allow ourselves to grow, innovate, and adapt while maintaining the core of who we believe we are.

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