Change Happens - Ready or Not

When my son died suddenly last year, I couldn’t breathe. I’ve dealt with loss before, but not like this. It was paralyzing. He wasn’t ill. A freak infection. We didn’t see it coming, and more than a year later it still didn't seem real.

But reality has a way of setting up around us like concrete until it cannot be denied.  For his two young sons, who now live with their mother, in an instant life is totally different.

A lifelong friend, Johnny P who lost his son at a young age many years ago, magically knew when to call and what to say.   He simply said, “You’ll be okay in time, but you will never be the same.”  And boom, there it was, simple as that.  Johnny had that level of credibility no parent would ever want. 

A year passed, and somehow I missed it. A functional numbness provided the focus to carry on with daily life, manage probate affairs, and make sure my grandsons were okay.  Unfortunately, that filter doesn’t discriminate. While it is busy blocking pain, it also limits the amount of joy and love we can feel.  It limits our ability to be present for loved ones. Emotional survival is not a perfect science, so we do the best we can.

Sometimes, when life happens, change is necessary to survive. They say that Change is the only constant. They also say that change, for the sake of change is a waste of time. They say not to make any major life decisions while grieving or during times of stress. These same people say we need to be nimble enough to ‘change on the fly’ as we dance with the unexpected. 

I’ve often wondered, who are these sage providers of this magical and often hypocritical wisdom?  Who are "They", and why do we give them such automatic and undeserved sanction? I have zero time for cliches, tag lines, and buzzwords. And although, hope is not a strategy, hopeful energy has proven to be far more productive than hopelessness!

COVID 19 made it conveniently normal to lock myself away. But that wasn’t really what I wanted. And I knew it wasn't healthy.  People reached out, but they didn’t know what to say, and I didn’t hear them.

I’ve made a good living for a very long time helping people and companies chart their course and turn big dreams into doable steps, and it had became painfully clear that I was in need of a full dose of my own medicine. It was time to take on the most difficult client ever.  Could the Physician actually ‘heal thyself’?

Turned out, the answer is still no. Is now, and always has been. Eternally grateful for everyone who was there for our family. You know who you are. Our next great family adventure is dedicated to all of you.

Stay tuned for some exciting changes. Really good things are happening!