Change Doesn't Start at the Top

If you are waiting for a cue from your supervisor, manager, director, VP, CEO, board member, analyst, or shareholder, you have already missed the point. To best position ourselves for success, all positive change is our responsibility. It is always better to be a volunteer for positive change than a recruit. Most often, this involves doing the exact same thing, but as a volunteer, you score more points. Proactive self-improvement is the key to overcoming the various roadblocks, resistance, and regrets that are often the norm in our business lives.

Poise Counts

To quote Kramer from Seinfeld when coaching a Miss America contestant, “Poise counts.” But how do we know if we measure up and exhibit poise? Most of us have some interpersonal habits that limit our growth, suppress productivity, and simply said, don’t present us in the best light to others. Do we wake up one morning, look in the mirror, and realize that we aren’t perfect? Do we wait until it is brought to our attention by those we work for and with? How many of us are truly self-aware and able to see issues, make corrections, and be honest with ourselves?

Not a D.I.Y. Project

Continuous self-improvement is a combination of different recipes, remedies, and reflections that offer us various ways to present ourselves to others, solutions to fix specific issues, and alternate views of what has occurred. Self-improvement is not a DIY project. This is not as simple as reading a book or taking an online course. To get the extra “poise” points takes a team of hand-selected trusted friends, family, coaches, and teammates to tell us the truth we often don’t want to hear, discuss ways to improve, and provide a mirror to our actions, giving us that much-needed feedforward look.

Context > Contribution

Many of us—certainly me at times—believe that if we are smart, competent at our tasks, and get great results, we deserve all the prizes and riches. Being ahead of goals is not enough for growth and advancement. Quite frankly, since category outweighs company and company outweighs the individual’s contribution, how much of our results are truly attributable to our own performance versus the team? For many years, while riding the rising tides at MCI, virtually everything we tried worked! It took many years to separate how much was me versus how much was the team, and a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to dismantle a disliked monopoly.

Take the Plunge

Most of us, in the deep recesses of our minds, realize there are things we could improve. We may not want to admit it, we don’t share it with others, and our mental muscle memory stops us from changing our patterns and reactions. This cycle leads to making the same mistakes repeatedly. There is only one way to start learning new and better habits, and that is by taking the plunge. Like jumping into a very cold ocean, you get used to it after the initial shock, and then you relax. Self-assessment is a great place to begin.

Perception is Reality

If you were to ask others about you, would their answers match your self-assessment? How would you begin to understand what others think, and how your habits and behaviors affect them? It’s like visiting a funhouse at a carnival and viewing yourself in distorted mirrors. It’s still you, but the perception, based on the individual mirror, becomes the reality. Others view us through their perception of us, not based on our expertise, skills, or intent. If you took a long, hard look at your own habits and asked others to do the same about you, would those assessments align? Experience has shown me, time and time again, they usually don’t.

Chain Lightning

Take a long, hard look in the mirror. Are you showing up as your best self? Are you creating positive perceptions that shape a new reality? Are you becoming the go-to person with great interpersonal, team-oriented skills that make you indispensable? The truth is, you won’t know unless you ask. Try this simple exercise: list three traits to describe yourself, followed by five traits you believe others would use to describe you. Then, ask the same of your trusted confidants. The chances of these three lists matching are slim to none. It’s what I like to call a truly coachable moment.

Change starts with all of us. Be the spark that ignites others, because “it’s chain lightning, and it feels so good.”

Copyright: greymatters 2024

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