Change the Course of Your Life

The pandemic has given us all a chance to look more closely at how we live. Many of our routines have been upended, leaving open space to consider our lives more closely. For many, this crisis has precipitated change, some voluntary and some circumstantial.

Life can change our world in the blink of an eye through a disaster, illness, accident or a windfall. But, for the most part, we carry on living in a way that feels comfortable, if not always satisfying.

As we round out this unprecedented year, is there a change you can make that will put your life on a more fulfilling course? This year, we have experienced many things that are out of our control. Recognizing what is within our control, and acting on it, can be a powerful salve during topsy-turvy times. 

This week I’ve watched two programs that have reminded me of our ability to dramatically change our lives. One is My Octopus Teacher, a stunning Netflix film about a filmmaker who completely changed his life and uncovered a beautiful world. I HIGHLY recommend it.

The second program is a one-season TV series called No Tomorrow. The premise is based on a man who believes the world will be ending in eight months and therefore decides to live exactly how he wants to live. He creates a list of all the things he wants to do in that eight months and crosses them off as he completes them. There is a lovely romance involved. It’s fun and easy to watch, but surprisingly inspiring. My husband and I started our own lists and have agreed to continue to build the lists each evening with small and big actions and adventures to enhance our lives.

Some of us believe we have boxed ourselves into a life that we don’t love. Maybe we have a lifestyle that requires us to keep a job we don’t like. Or we’ve gotten lazy about our relationships, letting them fizzle. Maybe we think we can’t live our dreams because our kids are young and need to be in school, or our parents are old and need us.

Of course, the pandemic has altered our lives in innumerable ways. Many of you may have lost a loved one, or worry that you may still. Most of us are spending time worrying about getting COVID. As we look to our future, let's look beyond this pandemic, know that at some point in the foreseeable future it will be behind us.

I want to challenge you to think outside your boxes and really ask yourself, “What would you do if you only had six months to live? Where would you go? How would you spend your time? Whom would you be with?” Some of the responses could be actionable before the pandemic is over, others will have to wait.

This is not a quick question to just dash off some ideas. This is a question to ask over and over again, during quiet moments, letting new ideas emerge and the truth of your heart be heard.

Overseas Adventures

When our girls were young, we defied convention and lived abroad, twice. Once we moved to Spain and put our 4-year-old and 8-year-old in a traditional Spanish school. The girls went from zero Spanish to fluent Spanish, for their ages, by the time we went back home four months later. They are now bi- and tri-lingual.

I worked remotely from Spain during that time. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. My husband and I met and got married in Spain 28 years ago, so it is part of our family culture, even though neither of us have Spanish heritage.

Four years later we picked up and moved to Bangalore, India, and our girls attended part of eight grade and third grade in Indian schools for four months. Wow! This experience changed us all and opened our eyes to a beautiful and complex country. We made wonderful friends, stretched ourselves to adapt, and our girls saw angles of life, both extraordinary and sad, that are not present in the bubble of California. My older daughter wrote her college entrance essay about how that time in India changed her and made her appreciate life, and her opportunities and responsibilities, on a new level. 

India 2008

You may think doing something like moving to another country is impossible for you, or maybe you’re just not interested. It was difficult working from India, given the time difference, but the entire trip was not overly expensive. We rented out our home and rented a house in India. Our living expenses were about the same. There are many books and blogs on the topic if you are interested.

One of the biggest impacts those two experiences had was to remind my husband and me, and teach our children, that almost anything is possible in life. We don’t have to live in a prescribed box of expectations. This is wonderful to learn, and easy to forget, so we need to push ourselves to think about extraordinary dreams and possibilities.

Changing the course of your life doesn’t have to involve such a dramatic move. You can change the course of your life through how you take care of yourself every day. A friend introduced me to a book on Thanksgiving, Younger Next Year: Live Strong, Fit, Sexy and Smart—Until You’re 80 and Beyond, that has immediately inspired me to do more exercise, “for the rest of my life.” The content is presented in such a fun and convincing way that it has me adding more active adventures to my list mentioned above. 

Ignite Your Life 2021

As a reminder, I am opening up my annual planning process this year and invite you to join me. There is no cost to participate. I’ve scheduled four 1-hour Zoom sessions to Ignite Your Life for 2021. I will kick off this planning party on December 11 at noon PT (3 p.m. ET). You can register here. Subsequent sessions will be on December 18, January 8 and 15. We have a fabulous group already registered and would love to have you join us!

Wishing you an expanded view of life’s possibilities!

Barbara Fagan-Smith

P.S. This topic was inspired by my colleague Laura Dantes. Thanks Laura!!