Change, Choice, and The (Olive) Principle

Reflecting on Gratitude for Connection in Times of Division

Thanksgiving is my favorite of all holidays for a multitude or reason..the main ones mentioned in the subtitle above…gratitude and connection. There’s been and will continue to be much to think about, unpack and digest from the whirlwind of emotions brought about by last month’s election news. Many of us…I dare say regardless of what side of the aisle you voted for, have been on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster.?

Whether your preferred candidate won or lost, these times have tested our ability to stay connected both to our own values and to those around us who may not see the world the same way. Many of those whose candidate(s) of choice did not prevail feel disheartened, maybe even disillusioned...many whose choice(s) did emerge feeling euphoric and maybe even vindicated. Connection always matters to me...in these sorts of times...with what might appear to be vast differences of opinions amongst many it seems crucial we all examine what we really want to happen with our precious time here on the planet.

Change, Choice, and Principles

I’ve always been a firm believer in revisiting old wisdom for new insights. One of my personal bibles is The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. In it, Covey speaks about the three constants in life: change, choice, and principles. These three words have been echoing in my mind lately.

Change is inevitable—it’s the only guarantee we have. But when change happens, we’re left with a choice: How do we respond? And here’s where principles come in. If we say we’re principled people, then our choices should reflect those principles, even when the outcomes don’t go our way.

Democracy: A Principle in Action

I had an interesting exchange on one of my social media threads. Someone claimed the election marked "the end of democracy," while another person countered, "No, democracy worked." And you know what? They’re right. Democracy did work. The people spoke. If democracy defines your principled belief in government, (it does mine btw) your principle you’ve got to acknowledge that—even if the result isn’t what you hoped for.

I didn’t vote for the eventual winner, but here’s the thing: It’s not about me. It’s about us, as a collective. If your principle is that democracy only works when your side wins, then I’d challenge you to rethink that stance. We can’t claim to value democracy and then discard it when it doesn’t serve our preferences.

Learning to Win—and Lose—with Grace

In his iconic Positively 4th Street: Bob Dylan sang; “You just want to be on the side that’s winning.” Winning feels good—there’s no denying that. But how we win, and how we lose, says a lot about who we are. How we move forward as individuals…do our actions align with our “principles”...do we simply want to be on the side that's winning?

Stephen Curry, a player I deeply respect, summed it up perfectly: "Democracy W." He supported Kamala Harris for his own reasons, much like I did. But his focus isn’t on the victory alone—it’s on how we move forward together.

Much like Stephen Curry on the court, and the "win-win" mindset of Dr. Stepehn Covey in our lives overall, winning with grace, humility and an eye toward what's possible next, is a lesson worth considering/revisiting for us all...

The ideal above equates to my WHAT for this post

My WHY is always the same CONNECTION…nothing matters more to me...nothing has greater potential!

The following is one small but powerful HOW each of us can implement...whether or not we have olives...brought on by "The Chairman of the Board".

The Olive of Friendship

I read recently about Frank Sinatra. The actor Chazz Palminteri was at a dinner party at Sinatra’s house. At one point, everyone went inside, leaving Chazz alone with Frank, who handed him a martini and offered him an olive from the toothpick. They each ate an olive, and Frank said, “Let’s go inside.” Later, Chazz learned that sharing an olive with Sinatra was a sign of friendship—a small gesture with a big meaning.

This got me thinking: Do we have an “olive” to offer someone today? In times like these, when emotions run high and divisions seem deep, maybe we all need to find our own version of that olive. It’s a small act, but it can go a long way in bridging divides and fostering connection.

Share the Ball, Share the Olive

Winning is hard. So is losing. But what’s even harder—and more important—is staying true to our principles and finding ways to connect. There’s only one ball in play, and if we can’t figure out how to share it, we’re in trouble. Whether it’s through a smile, a kind word, or even a proverbial olive, we have to keep finding ways to connect.

Change will keep happening, and with it comes the constant need to make choices. Choosing connection…choosing to stay principled…choosing? to share our “olives” with those around us, even—especially—when they see the world differently seems a powerful and dare I say vital example of the all important “golden rule”.

The choice resides in each of us…it’s what makes us uniquely human?

Stay safe out there. Keep connecting. Keep sharing.

Change, choice, and principles always guide us forward.

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears” - Nelson Mandela