Change can lead to failure? So what? Not changing will definitely do that!

This week's story could be about a lot of people and companies who because got stuck in their ways for a long period of time they got scared of different things and especially of failure. In an honest talk with the person in the mirror we will also admit we did it at some point.

The story of the week is about me, about you and everyone in business that had that one moment when thinking about a new approach heard a voice inside saying - What if we fail?

There is a saying - the best plan of action in a situation is the best plan you can think of, the second best plan of action is a bad plan but the worst plan of action is no action, that will end everything. Fear can do that to you and when fear of failure has been planted in your brain since childhood like in Inception you can see we have to fight a losing battle.

I worked with clients that were in freeze mode and didn't even know why, I helped start-ups get out of their shells and do things they never thought possible and I have my share of victories with big companies that start our collaboration telling me - "you might be right Mihai but in our case it will not work, so why bother." What I am trying to say its that we all have our moment, how we respond will make the difference. So are you going to fight, flight or freeze? What I can say for certain is that no one that froze got out of the situation a winner.

Fear of failure is in our national DNA, and we block change as a result of this fear. And in time we get to a worse situation because we were stuck in our ways and now solutions are scarce at best. How does one get to such a large and widespread failure that solutions are so difficult to identify. If we look at the analysis of the situation and the previous moments, we begin to identify smaller mistakes and failures that have been hidden. In our culture, admitting mistakes is a sign of weakness and then we prefer to sweep them under the rug. It would be great for everyone if we started looking at failure differently. Let's learn what lessons it offers us and next time, if we insist on making mistakes, at least make different ones.

The difficult relationship we have with handling failure comes from childhood, I often heard from my parents, teachers and especially my basketball coaches the following sentence – failure is not an option. Words that have a negative effect on a person, especially at a younger age. From the moment you start believing what you are told, first failure will shatter your world. It's just that to become a well-adjusted adult, we need failures as much as we need various childhood diseases to develop antibodies to them.

You failed? So what? Failure is always an option, you can turn the experience into the energy you need for your next project or a lesson that will help you succeed next time. Michael Jordan did not give up basketball after not winning the championship between 1984 and 1990. And the lessons learned made him win 6 titles in the next eight years. Failure is something natural, no one is perfect but after a number of failures, learning from mistakes, you can get pretty close to perfection. The most important thing is to manage your failures correctly, so that you can use them as building blocks for the future and not as reasons to give up and get angry.

The first step is to start the project with the expectation that it might not work out. There are always chances that this will happen, especially when everything is not in our control. It would be better to build the notion into your mental plan from the start. Let's face it, if we assume that everything will go exactly as planned, every time, it's like betting on the correct weather forecast for the next month. And don't forget what Mike Tyson said - "everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face". It is impossible to believe that during a boxing match you will not get hit, but precisely because you expect it to happen, you will be more prepared to react. Believe in your idea, start the project even in the presence of the risk of failure and you can use that to your advantage. Fear of failure can make you pay more attention to details in the preparation stage.

Sooner or later in our lives, whether professional, entrepreneurial or personal, failure is a reality, not just an option, and how you respond is crucial. Your first reaction should be to stay calm. If we get angry and look for culprits we will not solve anything. Sit for a moment and relax, analyse what happened and only then make a decision. More often than not, an impulsive reaction will make the situation worse. See the context from multiple points of view, ask for feedback and involve other people in the analysis. Under pressure, it's good to get the opinions of others to clarify the big picture.

Importantly, when you retrace your steps to identify where you went wrong, also look for the lesson to make sure it's a mistake that won't happen again. It's a difference between school and life. In school you get the lesson and then the test, in life you start with the test and only then realize what the lesson is. Moreover, at school the teacher highlights in red where you went wrong to be very clear, in life and career, you are both a student and a teacher. You have to find the mistakes yourself. Let's also add persistence to succeed. Very often failure occurs because people give up too easily. In fact, the fear of failure is just a projection of the future. You are still the same person with a great idea, strong motivation and passion. Focus on what you have and turn fear into fuel, don't let it cloud your mind.

As an experiment, there are voices that recommend failing on purpose, in a controlled environment. You have no talent in music, start playing the guitar. You have two left feet, you're going to a dance competition. The idea behind it is that you will learn to handle failure more easily and know your limits. I am convinced that I learned as much about basketball from the losses as from the wins. Maybe even more from failures sometimes.

After my personal experiences I ended up saying to myself - "I learned so much from the mistakes I made that I plan to make more in the future". As long as you keep a positive aspect from your failures and they make you a better version, it shouldn't be scary. I'm not saying to invite failure into our work, but maybe we can change the perception and understand that if we learn the lesson, next time we won't repeat it. And that would be a shame, there are so many new mistakes to make and great lessons to learn!!!