Challenges and the Inner Strength

Strength doesn't come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you                    once thought you couldn't                  Rikki Rogers 

These are interesting times. You dare to dream, but you do not want to put the efforts in realizing them. You want to achieve great heights, yet get pulled down with the slightest of challenges. You have all the excuses for things not going your way. However, sometimes you do strive with all your heart and things still do not seem to be going right. At least not on the outside. This is what’s most upsetting to many. Nothing to show for efforts put in.

This inner sense of disappointment can be so intense, that you might just be on the verge of giving up or just might actually do. You see no sense in pushing ahead. I am sure many of you are nodding your heads in agreement as you read this. If you are, then you are as human as any human can be. There is nothing wrong with being that way. Rest assured. The real question to answer is, what do you do next?

Let me share a simple yet inspiring story of not a person, but a true wonder of nature- The Chinese Bamboo Tree. This is not a lecture on Botany so now listen carefully. When the seeds of this tree is planted in the soil, watered and nurtured, by farmers, any ordinary observer would expect the plant to start growing in a few days. Now the interesting bit. Nothing happens for the first year, and the same growth enigma is repeated in the second year. Absolutely no growth above the soil. And the same for the third year as well. The tree is very cautiously watered and fertilized each year, but nothing shows. The same story continues for the fourth year consecutively. No growth whatsoever, despite all the nurturing from the farmer. Finally the fifth year arrives and after five years of consecutive nurturing, watering and fertilizing, with nothing to show for it- the bamboo tree suddenly sprouts and grows eighty feet in just six weeks!

Was the plant dormant and asleep for four years, or was it developing an underground root system so strong, that it could support the exponential growth in the fifth year and beyond? The answer is obvious. Had the Bamboo tree not grown an inner solid foundation of roots, it could not have sustained its rapid growth.

I find this example as a fascinating reflection of the human experience. You are so ready to give up at times, that you fail to realize that you might be just about to “crack the code”. There might not be outwardly progress, but massive headways being made within you. And you don’t even realize it.

Your very nemesis or challenges, is exactly what you need to activate a key ally in your life – Strength of Will. I believe strength does not come automatically from things you can do. Strength is groomed and cultivated during these very challenges, so that you start doing things you once thought you could never do!

In your career or your personal journey, the value of a strong willed personality is a true game changer. The one who keeps it together and keeps moving ahead, when all are critical or ready to put you down. When faced with hurdle after hurdle and setback and setback, this kind of individual remains calm and only more focused on what needs to be done. That to me, is real strength which defines character and takes you miles ahead of the rest.

So how do you get about on the path of the mentally strong, who persevere through tough times to eventual success? Usually in my blogs, I give pointers on what to adopt, but this time round, let’s change things a bit. I want to give you a quick heads up on the top ten things you should not do instead.

1. Don’t look at Change with fear - It could be the best thing yet

For me, the biggest fear is not of change, but of becoming complacent and less adaptive. The most dreaded fear should not be of the unknown, but about getting too comfortable. Time to relook at Change. Remember, change is healthy. Fix your mindset and meet it head on. You might just be amazed at your inner prowess.

2. Don’t waste time looking for sympathy - Hunt for gratitude instead

I look at complainers with absolute dread. They stay in this strange twilight zone of “the victimized” and how the world has been anything but kind to them. You can change this in a moment of gratitude. Thankfulness for what you do have, instead of what you don’t. You are better off than many out there. Believe me.  Yes, it is alright to feel sorry for oneself once in a while, but you must make dedicated efforts to divert most of your energies towards gratitude which will enable mental strength.

3. Don’t be afraid to speak up - Unless you are being unfair

At the end of the day, you should strive to be just and kind to others. On the path of facing challenges head on, you must worry more about solving your inner queries, rather than focusing on pleasing or displeasing someone.

4. Don’t expect others to handle your emotions for you - Keep it together

One of the biggest mistakes you can do, is to give away your power to someone else. Losing your emotions and having someone else gather the broken pieces for you is a gamble you should not get into. Keep it together and take responsibility for your actions, no matter what. You must manage your reactions and spend less time on the blame game. It’s time to mature up. It’s time to own up.

5. Don’t expect things to change which you cannot control - Change yourself instead

Why are there illogical things happening around you? Why do people react differently to you? Why are some people nicer to others than you? The list of petty questions is endless. People are different everywhere with their own agendas. You cannot change that. Accept that. Put all your worry and time in fixing yourself. Be objective and worry about solving your challenges than understanding why there are so many individuals who lose their temper easily or say nasty things without regrets. Yes, the world is unfair at times. Deal with it.

6. Don’t dwell in your past - Live in the future you can create

You have to stop wasting time about the days of glory gone by. It’s time to focus on what you can do about where you are at this moment in time. Get to where you want to go as a personal project on which you work on daily. That is something you can have some control over. Always look ahead and that will give a sense of hope and inner strength.

7. Don’t envy the success of others - You too could be there one day

A common problem that can overtake you on an unconscious level, without you even realizing it, is getting envious of others. Many a times you cannot justify your own incompetence or “bad luck” and think other successful ones just had it easier. It’s a nice way of feeling sorry for yourself, but a trait I would strongly advise to say away from. Work out your own shortcomings and find solutions or wait it out. Efforts do eventually lead you somewhere, but complaining is a never ending spiral which only sinks you further. Look in the mirror. That’s your only competition.

8. Don’t expect immediate results - Expect to be in it for the long haul

Strong willed individuals already know that they will face challenges and setbacks. Embracing this truth is part of their DNA and they expect the unexpected. With such wisdom, being hasty about results without prior planning or expecting miracles beyond logic is not entertained in the least. You must understand your commitment to the results you are seeking and try, try and try once again.

9. Don’t give up - No matter what failures come your way.

It is a known fact that one who gains strength after overcoming obstacles, is well on his way to possessing the only antidote to overcoming adversity. See successful examples around you. They have failed, failed and failed again and after countless efforts and trials, success was an obvious natural outcome. The strong willed know this secret and understand that with each failure comes a deeper learning and a better perfecting of their skills and plans to succeed.

10. Don’t think the world owes you - Instead you owe it to them

Interesting way I want to end this list. With a latent attitude comes the desire for the world to pitch in to help push you on your way. If you are on the path of cultivating inner strength, then this should hardly be on your bucket list! For being born in this fantastic era with opportunities and health, is enough of a loan given. You owe it to the blessings thrown your way, to leave your imprint in this world, no matter how big or small. It is yours to give a name to. To label as something of a gift from your being to the generations to come. Think about it.

Smooth waters do not make skillful sailors. An ancient Arabic proverb, which is the essence of what I have said so far. Your strength lies in the very adversity you are trying to shake off. Cultivating an inner strength can usually be activated not only through challenges but how you deal with them.  Your plans, no matter how bold, need to be approached with a fearless attitude. Adversity should be expected and not avoided, for it is these events that help shape you to become what you are truly meant to be. Pushing ahead with honesty, thoughtfulness and trust is what will get you places- Not complaining, blaming and being complacent.

Let me repeat. Outward progress does not always measure inward progress. As you deal with each obstacle, you are grooming inner capabilities which will be your key allies, when the results actually do start showing with newer set of challenges.

Challenges are part of life. However, what makes you stand out is the strength with which you overcome them and how changed you are, at the end of the day. This is what makes life so meaningful. There will be times of despair and when you cannot take it any longer. My advice. Be patient and hold on.

Remember, strength of Will does not give you what to handle. Strength of Will helps us handle what we are given. Make the most of your life. The best results yet, might just be around the corner.