Challenge Yourself, Don't Force Yourself: The Power of Saying 'Nope'

Have you ever gotten up, put on your workout clothes, laced up your sneakers, driven to the gym, and left as soon as you got there?

I have.

After years of attempting to stay fit, I know myself well enough now to know when I should challenge myself and when I should not force myself.

I used to go to the gym when I was sore and not feeling well, either mentally or physically, and I forced myself to finish a workout. Later, I realized I got nothing out of it.

All of those promised endorphins—you know, the “feel-good” hormones?—?that are supposed to boost your mood and reduce stress and anxiety? Nada.

But I would repeat the cycle over and over again. Not anymore.

This actually happened the other day. I did everything I needed to get ready for a workout. I got to the gym, stepped on the treadmill, and suddenly realized I wasn’t feeling it.

I just said ‘nope’. I walked out of the gym. Back to my car. Went home.

And no, I’m not blogging about gym workouts. I’m getting all analogous up in here.

When it comes to our professional and personal lives, we sometimes lose track of the difference between challenging ourselves and forcing ourselves.

We’ve all been there at work. There’s a meeting on the books; you’ve just had the week from hell, and you show up looking like you got the zombie fungus from “The Last of Us”. And you just go through the motions.

What happened during the meeting? No clue.

Next time this happens, do what I do and say, ‘nope.’

You’re invited to a family gathering; you just feel like junk, and you’re ready to rip your uncle’s head off when he mentions January 6th. Just say, ‘nope.’

You wake up Wednesday morning, and hump day feels like Everest Day. Just say, ‘nope.’

Challenges are supposed to be fun, like Double Dare and Survivor, providing a level of achievement. Will you be better off if you say yes to all of those things I just rattled off?

I’m not going to beat the ‘self-awareness’ drum again. I’m pretty sure I’ve written plenty on the subject, but we should try and learn more about our minds and bodies and know when to ‘nope’.

If you don’t, it can lead to serious issues like burnout, fatigue, resentment, anxiety, etc. A couple of years ago, McKinsey surveyed 15,000 workers across 15 countries and found that a quarter of employees experienced burnout symptoms. 76% of respondents in a Mental Health America study said that workplace stress affects their mental health, and 75% experienced burnout.

I don’t want to break down all of the reasons behind burnout, but I’m pretty sure one is workers forcing themselves to do things they don’t need to do.

Now, I’m as guilty as anyone when it comes to not ‘nope-ing’.

But I’m getting better at it.

A few years ago, I was working for a company, and I was just sad. I felt unsupported. I felt mistreated. And even worse, I felt invisible. There was an all-day company function scheduled, and the night before, I just said out loud, ‘nope’.?

My wife thought I was nuts. She probably still does.

I decided not to attend, but not because my feelings were hurt. They were. It was because I concluded that I would get nothing out of it. I would be stewing in my misery, afraid I’d say something I would regret and make the whole mess messier.

That mental health day saved the day.

There’s this book out there called “Good Listen .” I hear it’s solid. But that’s about listening to others. We also need to start listening to ourselves.

Listen to your mind and body, and respect YOUR limits.

What are you forcing yourself to do? What’s pushing you to the brink?

Whatever it is, I challenge you to find the courage to let it go by simply saying ‘nope’ from now on. Your mind and body will thank you.

Jordan Belfort didn't say 'nope' to much in the '90s; if you've seen The Wolf of Wall Street, you know what I'm talking about.

This week on the Forbes Books Podcast, we delve into Jordan's rags-to-riches rise and fall on Wall Street, his subsequent imprisonment for fraud, and his current efforts at redemption as a motivational speaker and entrepreneur.

Jordan candidly discusses his past mistakes and the lessons he has learned, offering insights into the dark side of ambition and the power of personal transformation.

Check out our chat on Forbes Books , Apple , Spotify , YouTube , or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Connect with me on TikTok , X , Instagram , and (of course) LinkedIn . My book, Good Listen: Creating Memorable Moments in Business and in Life , is now available at all your favorite bookstores.