The Challenge of Social Distancing and Our Brain

Last month I wrote an article about the emergence of COVID-19 and Spring. In the article, I lamented over the term ‘new normal’ because I didn’t want to give up the life I knew. Now, here we are talking about the new normal as part of our everyday lives. The coronavirus is winning this pandemic. One of the most common ways to flatten the curve (new terminology as part of our everyday life) was to shelter in place. We needed to practice social distancing. If you happen to be in a grocery store, you push your cart like you are in some competition for ‘your space’. If someone is coming down a food aisle, you must stay in your spot until that person has passed you and you can maintain the six-foot separation guideline. Forget about looking for something that you need! You cause a big backup of impatient shoppers behind you.

But here is the deal: we, as humans, are hardwired to be with other people. Our prehistoric relatives always stayed in groups as a means of survival. Excessive isolation can weaken the immune system, increase blood pressure, and may even help cancer cells spread. Super agers – living to very extended ages while being cognitively and physically healthy, are usually found in a group. These groups support them throughout their whole lives. I have researched and taught the power of socialization as an important part of a brain-healthy lifestyle. Being with other people raises our cognitive skills. So, in this tenuous time when we have no idea how long we will practice social distancing, how can we survive intact?

For most of us, we do have the ability to stay connected through technology. Video meetings have morphed into virtual dinners with friends. We can all see each other and engage in conversation. Perhaps the conversation is not as spontaneous as being together, but we can at least see one another and enjoy a dinner together – while apart. For those who live alone, this time can be very precarious. It is far too easy to become depressed while being isolated. The older population is far more vulnerable to be a casualty of this virus, so extra efforts must be made to keep them at home but not feeling isolated.  

My mother is 91 years old and is a very busy lady. It is hard to keep her home. After she realized how dangerous the coronavirus was, she didn’t put up any arguments about staying home. We are lucky because she is not afraid of technology. She uses her iPhone and iPad like a pro. We thought Easter was going to be very difficult, but we taught her how to use FaceTime. And, we as a family, had one other advantage. There are six siblings, although only three of us live near our mom. My one sister has been so generous with her time and has stopped by almost every day with her meals. She also gave her the world’s most difficult jigsaw puzzle. We laugh every day about the progress she is making in getting that puzzle together. My mom has a group of friends that she saw at least weekly. They traveled together and generally had a great time together. They all call each other every day to complain about how bored they are. We are fortunate that mom has such good friends. 

These family and friend connections are so very important now. We need to reach out to those we know who are not as lucky to have their own circle of family and friends to look out for them. When we are isolated for any length of time, our cognitive skills decline, and we become depressed. This is a very slippery slope to dementia. Since we have no date when we will be able to give someone a hug or enjoy their company in person, we really need to look out for those who need to hear words of encouragement that we will get through this. We are social beings, and we need to make connections happen even if it is through video chats. 

So, take good care of yourself. We are all in this together and we need to make sure that everyone we know – or even don’t know yet – feels confident they will survive too. The human spirit is indomitable. 

Patricia Faust, MGS