The Challenge of Seeing Clearly & How to Go About It!

“When people tell you who they are, believe them!” - Maya Angelou

What constitutes seeing clearly? Author John Roger makes a simple yet profound statement: “Vision is seeing things as they are.” How often do we see things honestly as they truly are? It is a cultural tendency to falsify images, to make them mean what we want them to mean or to fit our judgmental view or assume everyone is on the same page when they are not. When we do this, we don't really see, we fabricate. In so doing, we miss the consequential outcome. In other words, actions or causes have future effects.

These “unseeing” tendencies ultimately create disillusionment, confusion, disappointment and discouragement.

We have been rightly told to look for the best in people. It is a persistent search for the positive and helps us feel good about ourselves and life. But we create problems when our quest for goodness discounts negative qualities that stare us in the face.

People have positive characteristics and they also have wounds. It is good to honor the positive qualities and note the wounds. The saying is, Wounded people wound others.? And it is true.Therefore, dump the naivete and observe the wound in yourself and others and what it leads to.?

Rather than stick people in boxes, recognize the broad spectrum of each person and situation. In doing so, you develop the ability to see clearly and that leads to good decision making.?

As the Dalai Lama teaches, look at each situation from every point of view. Then you have the best chance at honest perception.

This isn't about judgment, just honest assessment. What are the weaknesses and the strengths in a person or situation? No judgment, just clearly seeing what is there.

There are times? when our desire for beauty is so strong that we mislead ourselves rather than face a blemished world. Somehow that may seem easier, at least until we can deny reality no longer. We want a perfect world and sensitive, kind people. We want our children to be happy, successful, popular and smart. We want a well-meaning boss and to work for an idealistic company. We want that, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that is how it is. There are many factors at play in each situation.?

If something doesn’t work out as we wish, there is no need to react in pain. It might just be a nudge to reassess. Disillusionment is based on false images, which are grounded in erroneous beliefs that you’ve accepted and downloaded. They create painful outcomes. Here are some examples:

Belief: It is important that everyone likes me.

Truth: Not really.

Belief: It is of dire importance that everything goes my way.?

Truth: It might be better if it didn't and either way you'll manage.

Belief: There really are things that I can’t stand.?

Truth: You’ve stood them to this point and can continue to deal with them as need dictates.

Perhaps if you were able to see things as they are without judgment, not good or bad, you can avert emotional chaos or letdown.

With a disjointed sense of positivity, we fall into delusion. It can happen in many ways... with bosses, partners, parents, children, friends, enemies, salesmen, waitresses, everybody. Our world is filled with false images. If we? seek the perfect person, relationship, job, situation, house, car, etcetera, we? set ourselves up for disappointment. Perhaps there is no such thing. That can be okay too!

So set out to see clearly by being honest. All things exist as neutrals. The way you perceive and use the people in your life makes them good or bad. Of themselves, they are neither. You cannot say a car is bad because it has the power to kill. It is not the car’s fault if it is used lethally. The car is neutral. The driver determines its constructive or destructive use. The same is true with electricity and guns.

You owe yourself clear perception. Then your choices become clear and steering yourself in the direction you want is easier... that includes understanding and honoring each person, thing and situation for what it is and what it isn't.

Activity: When something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t right. When that happens, stop and write out a description of the situation and ask yourself what about it does not feel right? Check the motivation of each person involved. Probe into the purpose of the situation,how it had formed, and the seeming potential.

Doing this will isolate the problem or discrepancy. Something about it does not fit with your morals, standards of behavior, or its initial purpose. Determine what seems off and make the proper adjustments. Walk away from a situation that is out of integrity with who you are. Or, stay and correct what is out of balance.

Say “No” when necessary and move on when necessary. You will be thankful when you come to terms with a person or instance that does not fit your criteria and values. It's about managing your life without regrets!

This article is excerpted from my book, “Deep Truth: Wisdom of the Masters.”

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Send this to whomever you are thinking about now!!