How are you feeling? With Challenge Comes Change

Coronavirus has stirred so many emotions in all of us, from uncertainty to fear. However, there is another emotion I hear in people’s voices daily. It is an emotion we usually associate with the loss of someone we love, and it is the emotion of grief. I recognize this emotion because, in September 2014, I lost my youngest son Devin suddenly in a tragic accident, which set me on an intimate journey with grief. Let’s face it, we all do our very best to avoid this painful emotion, but what I have learned is we must embrace grief to move through it.

We all had dreams, hopes, and goals for 2020. We made resolutions, wrote affirmations, and proudly hung up vision boards. We shared these dreams with family and friends, and we jumped into the new year with excitement and enthusiasm. Never in a hundred years did we expect to be living through a pandemic. Suddenly our lives came to a screeching halt. Our normal routines are disrupted and we are left scrambling to create some semblance in an unpredictable world. 

 I cannot count how many times I have said, “life is unpredictable; you never know what’s coming next,” but coronavirus brings what’s coming next to a whole new level! We are grieving predictability, normalcy, security, and the future we envisioned. After all, we did everything right, we ate healthily went to the gym, and even bragged a little about the great genes we inherited and now our greatest possession, our health is at risk. Many of us have a love-hate hate relationship with our jobs, but we long to go to work knowing our next paycheck is just around the corner. When we aren’t working, we commune with our family and friends, and we go to concerts, sporting events, and movies. We dine at our favorite restaurants, take hikes, or sit on the beach, watching the tide go in and out. These things have vanished; we no longer jump in the car for a quick trip to the market for a forgotten ingredient for our favorite recipe. Instead, we gear up like commando-style with masks and gloves and stand in lines to procure the basic necessities which sustain us. 

Coronavirus has reawakened all 5 stages of grief inside of me. Initially, I was in denial, it is 2020, and I was certain Dr. Doogie Howser or Dr. Gregory House would come to the rescue and slay the virus with a vaccine in days. That dream was shattered by the 24/7 news cycle saying over and over again, and it would take over a year to get a vaccine. That moved me to anger, how does this happen, and why are people buying all the toilet paper, but I am just not an angry person, so I jumped to good old fashion bargaining. I will follow all the rules of social distancing and only go out every two weeks for groceries, and I will not hoard, and I will not take anything for granted ever again. Once I realized I could not bargain with the impact of coronavirus, I began sinking into the “D” word depression. Of course, this was not my first rodeo. I knew the cure for depression, so I sprang into action and started ravenously eating my sacred food supply. 

 So here I am a few weeks later and a few pounds heavier reflecting and labeling my feelings as grief. How I hate that word and all the emotions that go with it but wait, I know how to deal with this I’ve done it before, and I will do it again. It is time for acceptance. True acceptance is one of the most powerful and life-changing practices you can choose for your life journey. While I have accepted that coronavirus is real, people are dying and getting sick, and the world is under siege by this pandemic, the global economy is tanking I also know I can take charge of how I am dealing with it. 

I get up, get dressed, and go to my desk every morning, and I work. Yes, the work I am doing has changed, but, in some ways, it is more rewarding. I am helping people with resumes and coaching them on their search, but more importantly, I am listening to their fears and making sure they know they are not alone. I believe the world we live in has changed, and we may always mourn for life before coronavirus. We are strong, and we will embrace the exciting changes this will bring to innovation, healthcare, education, employment, entertainment, and humanity. So today, I am inviting you to join me in acceptance and embrace change with your whole hearted passion because through challenges inspiration are born and we have a front row seat to an exciting future! 

p.s. I know I did not capitalize coronavirus unless it started a sentence because I refuse to give it the power of caps.