Challenge Accepted: 3 Self Care & Personal Growth Lessons from Barney Stinson

From time to time, we like to revisit various shows. Unlike shows like Parks and Rec, The Big Bang Theory, Friends, and Gilmore Girls, which we can enjoy out of order, there are certain shows we commit to watching from start to finish multiple times. Shows like 24 (starring Kiefer Sutherland), Cobra Kai (starring William Zabka and Ralph Macchio), and Madam Secretary (starring Téa Leoni and Tim Daly) are on our short list of such series.

Most recently, we decided to re-watch How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM). While HIMYM is a beloved sitcom, I’ve been pleasantly surprised to notice that it offers insightful life lessons through its diverse characters. One of these characters, Barney Stinson (portrayed by Neil Patrick Harris), has a phenomenal character arc throughout the program. Initially known for his outrageous behavior and commitment-phobia, Barney Stinson’s journey in HIMYM offers a compelling narrative on the pitfalls to avoid and the potential for personal growth to enhance our mental health and overall well-being. Barney's story shows that change is possible, and pursuing genuine connections can lead to lasting happiness.

Two Barney Stinson Things NOT to Do

1. Barney’s Tendency for Emotional Detachment

Barney's emotional detachment is evident in his superficial lifestyle and reluctance to form deep connections. He uses humor and casual relationships to avoid confronting his feelings, as evidenced by his infamous "Playbook,” unbelievable pickup efforts, and numerous one-night stands. This detachment prevents him from experiencing genuine intimacy and fulfillment. Emotional detachment can lead to loneliness, unfulfilling relationships, and a lack of meaningful connections.

Practical Hack: Exercise Vulnerability through Journaling and Conversation

For some, it’s important to start with small steps, like journaling your day or a recent experience, to build comfort with emotional openness. From there, sharing your thoughts and feelings with trusted friends or a therapist is another great step to take on the path to healthy vulnerability.

2. Barney’s Capacity for Manipulation and Deception

Barney frequently manipulates others to achieve his goals, particularly in his romantic pursuits. His deceptive tactics from the "Playbook" involve lying about his identity and intentions, which ultimately undermines trust. Manipulation and dishonesty can damage relationships, create guilt and anxiety, and lead to isolation and damaged self-esteem. Genuine connections cannot thrive in an environment of deceit.

Practical Hack: Commit to Prioritizing and Building Trust

Before speaking or acting, consider the potential impact on others and choose transparency. Build trust by being straightforward and reliable in your words and actions. Trust requires two simple ingredients: commitment and follow-through. Commit to simple tasks and follow through. Over time, gradually increase the intensity of the tasks you commit to and follow through on.

One Barney Stinson Thing Everyone SHOULD Do

1. Barney’s Embrace of Personal Growth and Seeking Authentic Relationships

Despite his flaws, Barney's character shows significant personal growth by the end of the series. His sincere relationship with Robin and his transformation when he becomes a father highlight his ability to form genuine, loving connections. Embracing personal growth and seeking authentic relationships enhance mental well-being, foster deep connections, and lead to a sense of fulfillment and happiness.

Barney’s journey underscores the importance of evolving beyond one's past mistakes. His growth is particularly evident in his relationship with his daughter, Ellie. This shift from a commitment-phobic bachelor to a devoted father demonstrates the profound impact of embracing change and pursuing authenticity.

Practical Hack: Schedule Weekly Time for Self-Reflection and Personal Development

Use this time to identify areas for growth, set goals, and track your progress. To keep things simple, focus on your self-growth from the perspective of the energy you spend: physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Which one of these are you great at? Which one could use work? Which one are you more curious about? Who in your life do you admire for any of these? Taking time to process these questions is a great next step to embracing personal growth and growing in availability for authentic relationships.

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Ish (LinkedIn | Instagram | Website) is a communication expert that works with students & young professionals to pay the price of success. Ish travels to schools, organizations, and conferences all across the country to help participants make memorable experiences, grow as leaders, and be work force ready contributors. He’s also an author and podcast personality, leveraging these spaces to ensure students are clear on their purpose while making memories along the way.

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