Ceremony & Ritual

A scroll through LinkedIn this week revealed a lot of travel posts to conferences in my feed. A return to in person business travel can feel like a return to normalcy and the life we knew before the pandemic. It is a time to reconnect with people you haven't seen in a long time, make new connections and explore a new city.?Business travel can be both exhilarating and exhausting. To prepare to leave home for several days, one must pack a bag full of multiple outfit changes per day, pack up everything to create a remote office in a hotel room, coordinate coverage of childcare, pet care, etc. given the demands of home life do not cease once one leaves for the airport. There is a routine to it, even a ritual.?

What is ritual? It is a formal ceremony, or a series of acts performed in the same way. While packing your bags for business travel may not seem like a sacred practice, I believe that it is.?Packing for any type of travel whether it be for business, pleasure or a spiritual journey is done deliberately to be sure nothing is missed, and it gives us a chance to pause and think about what is really needed for the journey. Once all the necessities are packed it is time to think about what other items you can fit in your suitcase for comfort and connection. Maybe it's something simple like a journal or fiction novel. Perhaps it is something more meaningful like a picture of your family. Regardless of the item, this act of packing causes us to pause and reflect on what is important. Honoring that process is the sacred act.?

There are ways to bring that level of thought and connection into everyday life. What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning? What do you do just before bed? Before I sit down to write, I enjoy lighting a candle. The act of lighting the candle is again the pause to give my mind, body and spirit the signal that now is the time to begin.?

Fire is a powerful element to use in ritual whether it is the small flame of a candle or the roar of a campfire. One of my favorite parts of being on retreat is an evening around a fire. There is something incredibly powerful when people come together in a circle to tell stories, share secrets and set intentions.?

At our fall retreat last year, we gathered for a permission slip ceremony. Each person was asked to write themselves a permission slip.?The permission slip was read aloud to the group and then the group would shout in unison "PERMISSION GRANTED!" The permission slip was tossed into the fire to be released into the Universe.?

The intent of permission slip writing is to get really specific. The Universe if hunting for the particular. To say, "I give myself permission to be happy." doesn't cut it. The Universe has trouble with that one because it's too generic. How do you want to be happy? What does happiness look like for you? Get really specific. Happiness may look like going on a trip with your friends to someplace exotic. Try this instead, "I give myself permission to go to Hawaii with my friend Kim in February." That's specific! Now the Universe has something to work with.?

As the rounds went on, the permission slips went from lighthearted to a true representation of yearnings. We created a safe place for participants to really open up and feel supported to share their deepest desires. My first permission slip went something like this: "Dear Barbara, you have permission to stop asking your husband what he wants for dinner every night for the rest of your life!"?We laughed and shouted, "PERMISSION GRANTED!" Into the fire it went.

My last permission slip went something like this: "Dear Barbara, you have?permission to quit your job and bring Find Your Frolic to life!" Gulp! The act of writing that permission slip brought a deep desire out of me that had been unconsciously percolating under the surface for a decade.?When I heard the words?"PERMISSION GRANTED!" cheered in unison tears pricked my eyes. When I tossed it into?the fire, I thought it might come true in a few years if I could muster the courage. Little did I know that six months later I would be following this dream into reality. THAT is the power of deep listening to find one's heart's desire combined with a supportive community and a fire ceremony.?

What do you need to give yourself permission to do? Speak your truth. I'm here to shout, "PERMISSION GRANTED" and light that fire for you.?

Be well and frolic on.?

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