THE CEREMONY

The second in our series of articles about Weddings in the Time of COVID looks at the Ceremony and how to maintain the magic while still respecting the rules.

In those quiet moments when you daydream about your upcoming wedding, it’s probably to the ceremony that your mind wanders first. Walking down the aisle on your father’s arm to the strains of a string quartet or watching your bride glide towards you, smiling at you from under her veil. Friends and family decked out in their finery and flustering for a handkerchief to dab a teary eye. Your wedding party standing proudly to attention and ready to share this day with you both.

It’s the stuff that wedding dreams are made of and, whatever comes after, it is surely the most magical part of an unforgettable day.

For now, and for the foreseeable future at least, those wistful imaginings might have to be marked with a small asterisk, an asterisk that says “subject to… the vagaries of these unprecedented times”. But that “Subject to…” doesn’t have to mean “Defined by…” and we’re here to tell you that your ceremony can still be – and will be – everything you’ve hoped it would.

Here is our list of the 10 things to consider when planning your wedding ceremony.

1) Keep your guests spaced out…

Maintaining social distance will be important, particularly if guests will be seated for the duration of the ceremony. Consider blocking out seats to ensure guests are well spaced and consider also marking out areas for households to sit together. If you’re not holding the ceremony in a church, you might dispense with seating and have guests stand instead. That way, your guests won’t feel restricted and can keep to a distance with which they are comfortable.

2) … and the Wedding Party too!

Traditionally, the Wedding Party would spend the ceremony in fairly close proximity at the altar or at the top of the venue. Given that they will probably be from different households, you should make sure that they are adequately distanced and can avoid physical contact. Remember, too, that you should maintain an appropriate distance from the Celebrant throughout the ceremony so speak to them in advance to ensure their wishes are respected.

3) Masks

Check with your Celebrant if masks are required at the ceremony location but remember that, even if they are not mandatory, some of your guests may prefer to wear one. To ensure that they are not put off doing so or to avoid embarrassing those who wish to wear a mask, it might be nice to have a sign at the door saying that you are happy for your guests to wear a mask if they would feel more comfortable doing so. If your wedding budget allows, consider customised face masks. It could be a fun, quirky twist to the current requirements. Your bridal team could fashion masks that complement your colour scheme. And guest masks could include your wedding date or your new initials.

4) Sanitiser

Hand hygiene has become a part of our every day and the little “gelled hand rub” is as common a gesture now as a wave or a thumbs-up! You should have sanitiser available at the entrance to the ceremony location at least, but it might also be worth considering placing dispensers at regular points inside the venue. It might even be an idea to provide sanitising wipes for those who prefer them.

5) Tell them… then tell them again

Loose items or items that might be passed around could transmit infection and should therefore be avoided. That means no ceremony programmes or song books and no place cards. All of that places even more emphasis on clear, timely communication with your guests to avoid the confusion that inevitably leads to interaction and contact. Consider sending out seating plans in advance and talk to your providers to get a “map” of the venue with well-defined routes in and out. You might even consider breaking the ubiquitously-rigid rule that says “No Devices” by sending out the running-order in advance that people can take to the venue on their phones. No matter what you have to say, plan to communicate 2 or 3 times in the lead-up to the ceremony so that everybody knows exactly what is expected of them on the day.

6) Music

The musical accompaniment to the ceremony will depend on the ceremony location and on the level of restrictions in place at the time so speak to your celebrant and to your musicians and have a contingency plan in place for the day.

7) Receiving line

Hugs and handshakes are out-of-bounds so plan your exit from the ceremony accordingly. Even with the best intentions, elbow-bumps and foot-slaps will invariably end up with too much contact and, given the emotion of the day, it’s almost impossible to step back from that once you’re over the line. You could ask people to remain in their seats and have a quick word with them as you pass or you might simply decide to move the show to the reception venue and carry on there. Either way, crowds gathered on the steps outside throwing confetti will not be a good idea unless there is plenty of space and plenty of discipline.

8) Duration

We know that close contact for long periods isn’t wise and so it might be a good idea to shorten the ceremony accordingly. This is particularly relevant, of course, if your guests will be standing through the proceedings. Give plenty of thought to the kind of ceremony you want and to the specific elements that mean something to you. If you let that define structure and duration, you can be sure to have a ceremony that is both safe and special to you.

9) Decoration

A smaller ceremony means more opportunity to personalise the ceremony and that also applies to the way you decorate the venue. Talk to your florist about arrangements and consider also how you can personalise signage and notices to enhance the romance and joy of the setting. You can even add a humorous twist to the circumstances by poking fun at the oddness of it all – maybe tuxedoed Teddy Bears scattered among the crowd to keep guests apart! Just remember that the restriction on loose items that might spread infection applies to decorations also, so make sure your guests know to refrain from touching or moving anything.

10) Lights, camera… action!

Finally, we have all become familiar with video-conferences, WhatsApp calls and Zoom and, if all of this madness has had one upside, it is surely that we are better-connected to friends and family all over the world than ever before. Live-streaming your ceremony is a great way to share it with those unable to attend, so work with your venue and with your photographer or, perhaps, a tech-savvy friend to broadcast it to the world.

The way we celebrate marriage is going to be different for a while. But restrictions and regulations don’t have to be an obstacle to your ideal ceremony. Rather, think of them as a chance to reimagine that ceremony and to create something truly meaningful for you and for your guests.

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