CEO Chronicles # 25 : Resilience In The Face Of Adversity

Resilience

This week, I was to write about the fourth weapon in the PERRfect Employee’s arsenal – Resilience.

However, we are in a dire situation where the whole world needs resilience. Countries, communities, companies, individuals across the globe are in the thrall of a pandemic. Borders are being shut down, jobs are being lost, subsistence is at risk, fever is raging and the bodies are piling. How do we cope?

So, rather than write about the components of resilience or the professional’s path to resilience, I am sharing two touching stories about people who have gone through their darkest times and found their way out into light.

These stories are extracts from www.optionb.org, a platform that helps people build resilience and find meaning in the face of adversity.

My Husband Murdered His Father!

That moment that everything changes. For me, that was July 17, 1989. Sitting in a police interrogation room, my world crashed down as I listened to two detectives tell me that my husband had coordinated and carried out the murder of his father.

At the time, I was newly married and seven months pregnant. When I learnt that the man I had loved and planned a family with could do such a horrible thing, it buried my head, my heart, and my hope for the future in darkness.

As much as I wanted to move forward and back into the light, reminders of that day were inescapable for the next several years. Newspaper headlines and evening news stories about my husband’s case were a regular occurrence. My hometown community whispered. Friends walked away. His trial and sentencing to twenty-two years to life brought even more press coverage and chatter.

But in that time of darkness, my beautiful child was born. My desire to move forward turned into a need to move forward. The need begat a will to move forward. And I began to see that I had options for my life, and my daughter’s life, other than those that were crushed. I would find another option, and it would be good.

Finding Option B

This was not easy. It required me to step out of complacency and into action. As I navigated my divorce, I had to use my voice in a new and assertive way, something that I was not used to. Being burdened by all of the financial obligations of my ex-husband's debts tested my negotiation skills. I faced and dealt with the emotional fallout of fear, betrayal and anxiety. For the first time, I was truly choosing to happen to life, rather than letting life happen to me. I was choosing resiliency.

There were moments when I had to simply rely on a will-do attitude, rather than a can-do attitude. Self-doubt and defensiveness challenged me. At times, I wanted to sink back under what felt like the weight of the world. But as I took accountability and responsibility for shaping my future, and that of my daughter, I decided that my life would be a life of victory, not of being a victim of someone else’s actions and the judgment and darkness they brought.

In the years since, I have found a healthy and loving relationship. I have raised three daughters to be strong, independent women. At the age of thirty-five, I returned to college and earned my degree on the same day that my oldest daughter earned hers. I have traveled the world.

Along the journey, life has tested my resilience time and again. Emotions, questions, anger, confusion, and hurt didn’t just disappear when I chose something different for our lives. But as issues arise, I feel, address, and work through them. I learn from them.

You see, I did not just move forward to exist. I bounced forward and am living.

Suddenly, The World Went Dark

A week after New Year’s Day, Gabby Giffords was shot. The year of 2011, which had started so inspired, had turned into a tragedy..

Gabby loved New Year’s. To her, starting afresh has significant meaning. Before she was shot, Gabby was one of those dedicated New Year’s resolution-makers - she always had a list of 10 things she wanted to achieve, whether reading more books or finally taking lessons in the French horn, the instrument she played in college. She always prompted her husband to make his own resolution, because he never would without her encouragement. But that year, and every year since, she’s had one resolution: to keep fighting through her recovery.

Gabby was shot by a zealot, who also killed and injured eighteen other people in his shooting spree. In one instant, her life and those of her family changed.

Gabby was shot point blank in the head. She was not expected to live. But she did. She survived and after two harrowing weeks in the hospital, began the long road to recovery.

Gabby suffered from severe aphasia, a result of her traumatic brain injury, which made speaking difficult. She was paralyzed in her right arm and right leg, so she had difficulty moving around. Gabby lost 50% of her vision in both eyes. These struggles remain to this day.

An Uphill Journey

On 1st August, 2011, eight months after she was shot, Gabby made her first public appearance on the House floor to vote in favor of raising the debt limit ceiling. She was met with a standing ovation and accolades from her fellow members of Congress.

On 22nd January, 2012, Gabby announced that she would resign from her congressional seat in order to concentrate on her recovery, but promised to return to public service in the future.

Over the past years, Gabby has gone through intensive rehabilitation treatments. Her surgeon noted that Gabby’s recovery was long, arduous and tiring, and expressed amazement at her progress.

Even through all the pain and trauma, Gabby opened her heart and home to everyone who wanted to talk to her. She refuses to give up, and stills sees the world in a positive light. Gabby runs a political action committee “Giffords: Courage to Fight Gun Violence.” She is still a vital politician and activist, active on Twitter and working passionately to give voice to millions of regular Americans who desire gun control and safety.

It’s coming on nine years now. And in that time, Gabby and her husband Mark have learned a lot.

“You may find that after times of tragedy or struggle, your cherished traditions change,” says Mark. “Some may disappear. Others may just need to wait, for now. But if you leave yourself open to them, new ones will appear - and you’ll find causes for celebration and types of resolve that you may not have otherwise imagined…”

The Power of Resilience

As we see from the above stories, resilience is the hard fought ability to bounce back from tough situations. Resilience is about NOT becoming a victim of helplessness and angst.

So often, we go through such horrible situations that it seems impossible to come out strong on the other end. But resilience allows us to just this. Once we learn to take control of our lives, prepare for the unexpected, reinforce our mental, spiritual and physical selves, we will find ourselves living happier, more purpose-filled lives. We will also learn to handle adversity with calm and deliberation.

Increasing our resilience is about willpower, about deliberate action, about being adaptable, about self esteem.

We will discuss these aspects of resilience in the next article.

Till then, let us all be healthy, safe and positive. Let us try and help those around us whose ability to cope is less than ours. To find ways to be proactive and empathetic with our families, friends, neighbours and community members. Let us be products of our actions, not of our circumstances.

This pandemic, too, will pass. We will be strong again.

Cheers | Shesh | Singapore | 31 March 2020.

****

Post Script :

1. For other interesting CEO Chronicles click here.
2. Follow me so that you don’t miss the next issue of CEO Chronicles.

Credits :

1. Article # 1 : Angie Mozilo, June 2017, optionb.org
2. Article # 2 : Gabby Giffords & Mark Kelly, November 2017, otionb.org

#ceochronicles #careeradvice #careers #bestadvice #hiringandpromotion #personaldevelopment #success #leadership #purpose