The CEO Book That Didn't Suck

I knew about Andy Dunn from his time at Bonobos as a Gorilla Group client, but didn't interact with him enough to have much of a personal perspective on him, personally or professionally. I was however impressed by his career as co-founder and CEO of Bonobos and eventual to 沃尔玛 so when he released his book Burn Rate: Launching a Startup and Losing My Mind, I was intrigued.

The more I read (okay okay listened, thanks Audible), the more I fell headlong into his story, curious about the moments that lead up to his present reflections and how his perspective on those moments changed after doing the hard work of looking back and taking stock of himself and the impacts of his actions to the people around him. If you haven't figured it out from the title the book is very much devoted to Andy's battle with Bipolar Disorder, as the ghost he desperately ignored and the part of himself that eventually he had to confront face to face.

It's amazing to see the effects of mania on the individual, the absolute belief that an individual can have like they are the Messiah or that flight number has some meaning from the universe that is validating the individual's decisions while they are in a manic state. To them its crystal clear that what they believe is true beyond a shadow of a doubt. Unfortunately for those around a manic individual that belief isn't founded in reality yet it has pervasive and expanding effects on everyone else.

A common reflection that those of us with mental health struggles have is to look backwards and say what would life be like without this illness? As one who personally battles with anxiety I ask myself the same question often. How much of a better father could I be, how much of a better husband could I be, how much of a better employee / professional could I be if I didn't have to account for this battle day in and day out. The truth is, that "what would life be like" thought doesn't exist. It's not real and unfortunately does no good to taking accountability for the present. The only way that I can be a better father, husband, family member, friend, and employee is to take accountability for me, right now, no matter what state that looks like.

What I personally took away from the book was not that Andy overcame Bipolar Disorder (spoiler alert, he didn't), but that he faced up to it and decided to proactively manage himself in the context of his own reality which includes Bipolar Disorder. As in most cases when solving for complex things there is no one silver bullet. It's a combination of things that you learn in bits and pieces, no miraculous revelation, magic pill, or re-processed thought. The only silver bullet we have is our own decision to not give up. To take life one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time. One thought at a time.

For those looking to get some courage to contextualize their own accountability I highly encourage reading (or listening) to this book.