Celebrating Neurodiversity

My husband, Mike, and I attended a friend’s birthday party many years ago. Mike is not the social butterfly that I am. I’ve never met a stranger, and I could easily crash a wedding party. Mike is a great conversationalist, but only after he gets to know someone, and the topic interests him.

Back to the birthday party... the host created a game for her guests to get to know each other a little better. I don’t remember the details of the game, but I was all in. I encouraged Mike to participate, but he wasn’t interested. I kept pushing, and finally, after the third stern "no," I backed down.

What’s interesting about this story is that Mike and I had been married for about 20 years at this point. You’d think I would know that this game was uncomfortable for him, but I ignored the feedback because I was determined that he would have as much fun as I would.

On last week’s Leaderish podcast, Regina Taute and I interviewed Jeanne Fain, an expert on neurodiversity and neurodivergence, discussing the importance of creating awareness around the differences we all experience in social situations—especially in leadership and in creating a more welcoming environment for our current and future team members.

On the podcast, we noted that 15-20 percent of the population exhibits some form of neurodivergence. That means that one in five people we meet could have some form of autism, ADHD, anxiety, or other conditions. Sometimes the symptoms are severe, and adults may struggle with independence. Other times, individuals are brilliant – like my husband – and simply uncomfortable in social situations. I remember his son once asking about black holes. Mike sounded like an encyclopedia when sharing incredible details with his young son. Even today, I’m dumbfounded by how much incredible knowledge he has. I don’t need Wikipedia… I just ask Mike!

Take the feature photo above as another example. I purchased a new car a few weeks ago. I want to know everything about the car, but I hate the research involved. My hubby enjoys studying car details – all cars – and learned that the panel near the steering wheel is magnetic. Rather than telling me about the feature, he decided to surprise me with a “note” made from magnetic words.

What’s important for us as humans is understanding that everyone’s brain works differently. We all handle situations, relationships, and work challenges in our own way. We’ve met people who seem awkward in social situations; they prefer to work alone, or they need headphones or noise to eliminate distractions. Mike likes to work with the TV on. I prefer silence or meditative music.

Neurodiversity and neurodivergence look different for everyone. We need to stop making assumptions about someone's abilities based simply on lack of eye contact, discomfort during interviews, or unwillingness to play a game. I was the person who wanted everyone to attend the company birthday party celebration and sing to the honorees. Some people hated that. Let’s find out what motivates the people around us. It’s not that hard… just ask! Learn what your employees, students, kids, or significant others enjoy. What motivates them? How do they want to celebrate a birthday? If it doesn’t include strangers singing to you at the local Mexican restaurant, then DON’T do it! It took me too many years to learn that in my own home. For that, I am sorry.

Who do you know in your life who handles social situations differently? Have you asked them how you can be a better friend? I encourage you to do that today!

To learn more, be sure to tune into our latest podcast on Neurodivergence in the Workplace on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

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If you're interested in learning more about my business coaching services or how I can help you turn your visions into business realities, email me at [email protected], reach out via DM or visit my website at www.dunnwise.com. And be sure to listen to the Leaderish Podcast for great insights on Leadership.

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