Celebrating A Mother's Advice

When we celebrated Mother's Day several weeks ago, we reached out to our Signature Leaders alumni to share advice they were given by their mothers that impacted them professionally and personally. We were overwhelmed?by the response. This is the second post in a series capturing the thoughtful answers we received. The women below share life wisdom from both their mothers as well as their own hard-earned learnings about how to build a career?and life:

Katrina Alexandrova, Product Owner - Mobile Applications, Maersk

"When I had my first baby I had a really hard time making the decision to go back to work. I just couldn’t imagine leaving my most precious baby with anyone. That time she said… I know exactly how you feel. It was hard for me too. But kids grow up very fast and when they do, you will need your life to support you and keep you going. And you can always rely on my help if you need to. It's simple, sincere, and to the point. Just like what you expect from mom."

Lisa Anderson, Vice President & General Manager, Application Tooling, TE Connectivity

"Advice from my mom: Be in a relationship because you want to, not because you feel like you have to. This has helped me to be intentional in my choices of how and with whom I spend my time, and also reminds me to focus on how I can be a positive contributor to my relationships.

Advice to my kids: Be kind or be silent. For me this reinforces optimism, and encourages me to assume innocence vs. judgment in my interactions with others. I find this approach to be especially effective when dealing with failures and building trust with my team."

Milena Gashkevich, VP, HR Business Partner, Prudential

"For my family and I, this year has certainly been one of being able to adapt, be optimistic, and being resilient as we got hit really hard with Hurricane Ida on Sept 1st. We had to evacuate that night, demolition our home and rebuild from the ground up and couldn’t be back in our home for over 6 months (and without flood insurance as its not a flood zone, we were truly on our own, your home insurance covers zero related to a flood). The biggest lesson I learned (other than everyone should have flood insurance) and will carry with me for the rest of my life and have been instilling in my kids since Sept 1 has been there are people who called and asked how are we doing and sent their sympathies and then there were people who “did”, no matter how big or small. They didn’t ask what we needed or what can they do, they just did. They came and helped throw away or salvage anything possible from the damage the water caused to everything we own. They came for weeks to follow – random strangers, others brought breakfast, or lunch or dinner, coffee, or cleaning supplies, toys for the kids, and on and on… others helped financially, but the lesson is in a time of need, you don’t need to ask “how can I help” – because my answer was I have no idea, but we surely appreciated every single thing that people did, and didn’t even realize how much help we truly needed. So my lesson to my kids and for the rest of my life: you have to DO something to help, not just say it, or call and check in, but actually DO - regardless of how big or how small. Hopefully that’s my mother’s day gift for many years to come for my kids to be good people and help each other especially when people need it most."

Moira McFarlin, AVP, Talent, Lincoln Financial Group

"The past 7 years have been a journey of navigating the work environment as a mother. One thing that has stood consistent through having 4 kids in 3.5 years (yes, you read that right) was being told by Lincoln leadership to 'be where you need to be'—we’re an organization that stands behind one another, lifts each other up, and lends support (and a hand!) as we navigate some seasons of our personal lives. It has reminded me that I can be a working mother and still be present in my children's lives. It’s taken a lot of 'mind over matter' to recognize I can’t be all things to all people and to set boundaries (I am a recovering people pleaser!), but I can still be present in the moments that matter—that’s what keeps me grounded and moving forward."

Natasha Pollock, Vice President - Human Resources, The Timken Company

"A couple of things from me:

1. Every evening at the dinner table, my mother would ask me and my brother: “What did you learn today?” That one question developed us into lifelong learners. It built our intellectual curiosity through a bit of a healthy sibling rivalry — each of us wanted to have the coolest fact or new idea to impress her. My mother also participated with what she’d learned; creating a friendship that lasts to this day. It made us think, reflect and share. It made us closer as a family.

It’s a practice I later adopted with my son, and that I try to advance in my career, because a learning family is as important to me as a mother as a learning organization is to me as an HR leader.

2. My mother had an outstanding work ethic and high expectations which is why, when I received a bad grade in physics, her reaction took me completely by surprise. I thought she’d be upset — that there’d be some sort of punishment. Instead, she said: “It’s on you — how good you want to be in school and the future you want to build for yourself. I love you. I want you to be happy, and I know you’re smart. The question is: are you happy with this result?” Of course, I wasn’t happy with the result. Instead of scolding me for my bad grade, she empowered me. She showed me that how others see me is less important than how I see myself — and that the real person I should be worried about disappointing — is me."

Rachael Gelowtski, Category Manager – Personal Care and Beauty, Hannaford Supermarkets

"A couple of things that I am constantly telling my kiddos….

You are going to have good days and bad days and you can’t always control what happens to you. But you can control how you react. You are 100% in control of your feelings and reactions, always keep them in check. You won’t be best friends with everyone you meet and that is okay, in fact some you may not really like at all. However, no matter what treat everyone and do everything with kindness. You never know what kind of day people are having and the one small wave or smile you give them, maybe the only kind gesture they see that day."

Shannon Slish, Manager – Global Customer Service, The Timken Company

"The best advice I have received and continue to share with my children is to be your best self, every day. You don’t have to be the best at whatever it is you are trying to do, you just have to be YOUR best.

I noticed a distinct change in the pressure that my children felt, and even myself, when you realize that you don’t need to compete with everyone. The ask is not to beat everyone else or to win at all costs - it is just to be the best you can be. I will never be disappointed in my children or my team or myself if we have done the best we can do. I have also found that the less pressure they put on themselves, the better they perform at school or work - thus the more time they have for life!"

Sylvia Martínez, CEO, Zurich Insurance Ecuador

"Ensure you are always physically present at all your children’s events throughout your career- school presentations, parent events, sports, report cards, arts etc. There is no replacement for being present when they expect your full support and attention. No meeting is worth losing those precious moments that will never come back.

Now, my grownup children tell me this was critical for their sense of security and of being loved and prioritized.

Always be aware of changes in your children’s behaviors: they will always be signaling the need for your attention and protection. Even if they pull away let them know you are there for them and challenge them. Sometimes you must. When we are so self-involved and focus on our careers, in achieving that next level, we may prefer to overlook the signs. Don’t be fooled if you don’t take action early on, the impact in your life will be major. Take action like it’s your job.

Teach your children life is not work, work is the means to the life that you pursue. Especially these days when the world is so volatile and so much is outside of our direct control. All we can do is our best. "

Victoria Davitashvili, Senior Agile Manager, Prudential

"My mother always instilled in me that life was to be lived as a life of 'OR'. 'You can you be a great mother OR climb the corporate ladder', she used to say.

As a mother of two girls, I am teaching them to live a life of 'AND'. My daughter is great at math and loves to bake, so she’s constantly asking me what she should do when she grows up. So I tell her, 'You can be a mathematician, a scientist, AND launch a bakery side business. Most importantly, do what makes your soul sing!' That’s my advice to her almost daily on our walks to school."

Xia Liu, CFO, Westinghouse Electric Company, WEC Energy Group

"My mother was an accountant. When I was young, I used to visit her office often. I still remember the sound of her abacus in the room and the piles of documents on her desk. She would tell me that the balance sheet must always be balanced. If there is a missing penny, it needs to be found no matter how much effort it takes, as it could disguise a missing $100 or something much larger.

So, I had learned from a young age that any sloppiness can lead to significant consequences. Always try to go above and beyond in whatever you do, and do it with integrity. I keep this lesson in mind even today as I try to be the best possible leader, friend, sister, wife, and mother."

Thank you to everyone who participated in our month of celebrating mothers. We hope that these reflections were useful and thought-provoking for you.?At Signature Leaders, we are committed to helping women build momentum in their careers. We know that this can be doubly hard when you are also trying to balance life as a businessperson and parent. For more resources, visit the Signature Leaders blog or contact us.