Celebrating International Days of Persons with a Disability

Through my eyes: Life Lessons as a person who is blind

I started to lose my sight at the age of 10, experiencing a retinal detachment in both eyes. It was not due to an accident, illness or injury – just one of those things. Apparently it is a rare occurrence, but clearly part of my lottery of life. The first couple of years were a blur of surgeries, visits to the eye specialists and lots of time off school. What became apparent was that my sight was rapidly deteriorating and there was no way to fix it.

Thanks to considerable support from my family and school meant I learnt to get on with life. Whilst I could barely see, my family taught me to drive a truck, ride a motorbike and a horse on our family farm. I have gone water skiing, abseiling and rock climbing. Admittedly the latter was probably made easier by the fact I couldn’t see how far I might fall. I soon learnt life is about pushing the boundaries, taking risks to see what is possible, and giving everything a go – Life Lesson #1.

Like all teenagers I just wanted to blend in, but being blind meant that was never going to be possible. At that stage I didn’t want to be labelled as blind, but what I didn’t know then was that later in life, standing out is actually what can help make a difference. Life lesson #2, it is ok to be different.

There were many long days and dark nights when I wondered what the future would hold. It was hard to imagine how I would live a rewarding life. I soon buried myself in my studies as a means of focusing on something I could control, and as a way of getting through the endless days and months of high school. The effort started to pay off as I succeeded academically. This sparked a light within me that there was hope for the future. Life Lesson #3 was that hard work, grit and focusing on the future is what can help you get out of bed each morning, push through the day, and get up to do it all again and again and again. It is the hope for tomorrow that keeps you going.

I faced many people along the way that said I couldn’t do something. A teacher who wasn’t keen to have me in his class as he thought I would take up too much of his time needing support. I showed him by topping the class. There was the Professor of a prestigious university who told me that “we only take the best students here”, because whilst he had no idea of my capability, he ironically couldn’t see past my own blindness. I showed him, by being dux of my school, receiving a university mark that would have easily got me into his university; but I chose not to go there and instead to a university that said to me we will do anything to support you, just let us know what you need. Life lesson #4 - never tell me never. Don’t let the blindness of others limit your own aspirations in life. You can’t control the actions and attitudes of people around you, but you can control your response to them.

I soon realised in life that I needed to do twice as well as the people around me in order to get a look in. I finished university with 1st class honours and the university medal, but was this enough to find my first job? Employment is the biggest enabler, - one of the keys to achieving social and economic independence. Yet it remains an illusive dream for many people with a disability. Fortunately through networks I was able to secure a graduate role with a bank. I was one of the very few lucky blind people in the lottery of employment. There are so many talented, enthusiastic and capable people who have a disability that would love for meaningful employment, but are not given the opportunity.

I went on to complete a PhD, and become an academic at university, ultimately progressing to the role of Deputy Head of a Business School. Where is that Professor now!! Over the last 20 years or so, I have been employed in a range of roles across a range of industries. My biggest challenge was when I decided to step outside my comfort zone and take a role in the mining industry. I can’t begin to describe the moment and emotions I felt when I travelled to a remote mine site in South Australia and walked into the dining hall of the village where the room was full of a couple hundred men, and where women were in the minority, and where a blind woman with a guide dog was about as expected as a UFO landing from outer space. I remember a man who came up to me and quietly said “good on you”. Whilst I couldn’t see, I was sure there were hundreds of eyes looking at me – I felt like such a spectacle. I felt incredibly uncomfortable, but that was the whole point in my role as Diversity & Inclusion Lead, to prove that the impossible is possible. I will always remember one of the engineers telling me about his teenage daughter with low vision, and saying how great it was to see me at the company and to know what could be possible for his daughter. Life lesson #5 - get comfortable with being uncomfortable as life is full of pushing yourself outside your comfort zone.

I spent much of my childhood and early 20s wishing I could see, hoping for a miracle, and thinking how much easier life could be with sight. It was not until I became a mother (now of three daughters), that I suddenly stopped wishing for the return of my sight. I realised that being a mother was so much more valuable and meaningful to me than needing to see. As much as I would love to see again, even just to know what my beautiful daughters look like, I get so much joy out of my girls describing the world around us to me. It feels more meaningful to experience the world (whether it be their drawings from school, there singing on stage, performance on the sports field, how they are growing up into intelligent young women) by hearing them describe it through their own eyes and words, rather than through my own eyes. I hope that this skill of audio description that they have developed since their early days of talking, has given them the super power of perspective taking. Life lesson #6 - the power of perspective taking – take a walk in someone else’s shoes.

At times, I do wonder if perhaps other people may also be blind, as so often I am ignored because people fear approaching me, talking to me, and often would simply ask the family member with me about “what would she like….” As if I can’t hear, or be seen. I now have a guide dog, which ironically seems to bridge the divide with people as they rush to come and talk to me now. Although it is still about the dog, not me. In my public speaking roles on disability inclusion, I am often asked to talk about what is the appropriate language to use with people with a disability. Whilst words matter, it is the intent behind those words that can really make the difference. Life lesson #7 - just speak to others as you would like to be spoken to – it is as simple as that.

I believe strongly in the old adage you need to see it to believe it. In some of the work I am doing now, I am talking with employers about how they can become more disability inclusive. It is my dream that so many more people with a disability will be given the opportunity of a meaningful job, but it takes a community to make this happen. It is not easy, but society has the chance to make a real difference and impact here. I have been so fortunate with my success in education and career, and yet as I consider my future, I still feel some anxiety and uncertainty about having to disclose my disability to the next consulting client, the next organisation, the next employer. Will they see past it to my capabilities?

I see first hand the power of “see to be it”. My eldest daughter has been exploring universities this year – even though it still is a couple of years away. Not content with simply inquiring about possible degree options, she has been asking university staff at the open days about pathways to a PhD. Whilst some would think she should just focus on her bachelor’s degree first, I can’t help being proud that she is asking such questions. It is because she has grown up hearing about a PhD as if it is a part of life’s journey. The same applies to people with a disability. Ultimately what we need is for more people with a disability to be included in every part of life, to show the current and next generation what is possible. Life lesson #8 let’s see it to be it - let’s role model what we want the next generation to aspire to.

Happy International Day for Persons with a Disability