Celebrating Diversity in Germany: Let's Make Equality and Social Care a Mandatory Lecture at Schools

I'm not in Germany at the moment, but I've seen on LinkedIn that it's "Diversity Day" again. I've become allergic to these kinds of "organized diversity happenings". It's like International Women's Day on March 8. I don't want to celebrate any days of that kind. These days only remind me where we stand as a society and human beings.

All of my life experiences, learnings, and studies have made it clear to me that we value the work of men and women differently, often giving less value to women than to men.

One of my first book projects was titled: "The Problem of Gender Equality: The P Factor."

I never published it. I was ashamed to document and share what I experienced and thought about it. But now, after 15 years and at the age of 54, I don't feel this shame anymore. It's a pity that we still have gender inequality, not only in so-called ever-developing countries like my homeland Turkey, but also in so-called once-developed countries like Germany.

That is the baseline of all the problems we have. Instead of delving into the root causes of the problem, we find some so-called "Nebenkriegschaupl?tze" to avoid the painful treatment.

Let’s have a great “Diversity Day”! :)

My Personal Journey

Living and working in Germany as a female engineer has been both rewarding and challenging. The professional landscape is still dominated by traditional gender roles and expectations. Although there has been an increase in awareness and discussions around diversity, the pace of change feels slow.

My experiences have shown me that the status quo will not change unless we adopt a complete overhaul in our mindset, skillset, and toolset regarding gender roles and values.

A New Mindset

To truly embrace diversity, we need to start with a fundamental shift in our mindset. Both men and women must re-evaluate the gender roles and values we hold. We need to move beyond traditional expectations and recognize the value that diverse perspectives bring to the table. This means fostering an environment where everyone feels valued and empowered to contribute, regardless of gender.

I'm lucky to have a son and a daughter, so I see the influence of the school and social environment, and media on their mindset development. At home, I try to live an “empowered” woman life, working but caring for them. I even take care of their lovely dog, a German shepherd! But...

My son, unfortunately, has acquired some thought-errors. He believes that men are superior and women should follow them. (See the impact of the environment, he is born and growing up in Munich, visited good schools until dropped out.) I am still working on his mindset repair.

My daughter is developing an equal mindset. Until puberty, she even pitied the boys—she considered them handicapped! She is now 17. A couple of weeks ago, we were at home in Munich. She was suffering from her periodic pain as usual. She came to me for help. She said, "Mum, why did you make me a girl? Look, I have to suffer every month. And on top of that, I work hard. I do well in school, but still, I am a second-class human being in society!" I said, "Look, dear, we work to change it. Look at the initiatives where I am involved for women in tech, etc." She said, "Mum, when men do not want the change, you can't change it."

This last statement made me just angry. Very angry. I was speechless again. Like now. Hey, what can we celebrate today?

Building the Right Skillset

Empowering individuals for new roles and values requires a robust skillset. Education and training programs must be designed to equip people with the skills needed to thrive in a diverse and inclusive environment. This includes leadership training that emphasizes empathy, communication, and collaboration. It also means providing mentorship and support networks to help individuals navigate their careers and overcome barriers. All the training and coaching programs mainly provided to "ambitious" women in the corporate world are a waste of resources and document again that we, women, are handicapped. Better spend these efforts on paying for childcare for women or household help for them.

Upgrading the Toolset

Our current systems, laws, and regulations often fall short in promoting true diversity and inclusion. In some cases, they may even be damaging. For instance, the tax law for married couples in Germany can disincentivize dual-income households, reinforcing traditional gender roles. Imagine this: I was paying less tax when I was married, and we had double income. After divorcing, I pay higher tax! This happens in an environment where I care for the kids who live with me, care for my parents, try to do my corporate job as well as possible ( I would like to thank my managers at my corporate job for supporting me in this challenging phase) and pay more for health insurance after divorcing. And I get less money at the end of the month. Ladies and Gents, this is in 2024, in Germany! I am thinking of remarrying just for financial reasons!

We need to innovate and upgrade these systems to reflect our commitment to diversity. This means advocating for policies that support work-life balance, equal pay, and flexible working arrangements.

The Reality of Numbers

Yes, we see more women participating in various initiatives aimed at promoting diversity, but the numbers don't change significantly when it comes to the distribution of wealth, the time spent on care and household work, or the number of women in powerful positions. What is changing, however, is the number of babies being born. How can we expect women to have children when they rightfully avoid it due to the enormous pressures and lack of support? Many women are choosing not to have even one child because of the immense demands placed on them.

A Collective Effort

It's heartening to see more and more men in influential positions recognizing the importance of diversity. However, this recognition must translate into action. By collectively embracing a new mindset, building the necessary skillsets, and advocating for an upgraded toolset, we can create a more inclusive and equitable society.

In conclusion, celebrating Diversity Day is a reminder of the progress we have made, but it should also serve as a call to action. True diversity and inclusion require more than just recognition; they demand a complete transformation in how we think, act, and legislate. Only then can we ensure that everyone, regardless of gender, has the opportunity to thrive and contribute to our shared future.

Note: I’d like to emphasize that my experience extends beyond my corporate work. In addition to my professional background, I am also a social activist, social entrepreneur, and have engaged in various studies and mentoring programs.