Celebrate the small wins and say goodbye to "waiting for the shoe to drop"

There is a theme that seems to be popping up in my conversations with a few executives recently. Several, have mentioned they are wanting to make big career changes (changing industries, going a different direction with their job function). However, nearly as soon as their biggest hope and desire comes out of their mouth, it’s immediately followed by more fearful ones.

?It goes something like this:

?Desire/Hope:

“I want to go into a totally new and different line of work…something I’m passionate about, where I’m contributing, helping people and really making a difference in their lives.”

?Fear (that immediately follows the desire/hope):

“But, I don’t want to have to take a significant pay cut.” Or “But, I don’t want to have to go back to school for several years.” Or, “But, I’m too old to start all over,”

Isn’t it funny that when we state our highest hope and our true desires, which tap into areas that are really aligned and would bring us pleasure, they’re nearly always followed by fearful thinking?

?This reminds me of the phenomenon Brené Brown calls foreboding joy. Brown states in her book Daring Greatly, that joy is one of the most vulnerable feelings we can have. “We’re afraid that the feeling of joy won’t last, or that we won’t be enough, or that the transition to disappointment (or whatever is in store for us next) will be too difficult. We’ve learned that giving in to joy is, at best, setting ourselves up for disappointment and, at worst, inviting disaster.”

?I know this thought process very well because I used to go through this many times, but it was when I started really diving deep into celebrating the small wins that I started to turn it around one tiny win after the other.

First and foremost, I started letting go of “waiting for the other shoe to drop” years ago for one main reason. It wasn't helpful....at all.

Now, I’m digging into celebrating the wins (big and small). Not just with a quick “Yay! I’m awesome.” But, stepping back, reflecting, and allowing myself to feel genuine gratitude and appreciation toward myself for the effort that went into achieving the tiny (or bigger) win.

?It might seem awkward at first to sit back and appreciate ourselves and give ourselves a thumbs up, but when we do that for ourselves, it gives us the ability to do this more readily for others (our coworkers, team members, bosses, leadership teams, etc.)

As my coach has helped me expand my capacity to think more expansively and take bigger risks, it’s not necessarily in arriving at the destination of my desire/hope. It's celebrating the wins along the way that make the process all the more enjoyable. And, bonus: by allowing for joy throughout the entire process, it’s actually what gets us to our desires and hopes way sooner.