Celebrate Leadership and Love: Insights from the Kentucky Derby to Mother's Day!

Welcome to another edition of Kickin' it with Kristen — your midweek motivation every Wednesday!

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??Aha! Moment

Mother's Day—though it radiates joy and love for many, for some of us, it's a reminder of dreams unfulfilled and paths untaken. Each year, as I navigate through celebrations that seem to honor every mother around, I find myself reflecting on what might have been. This isn't easy to share, but it's my truth, and on a day like today, the weight feels all the more poignant.

Here's something I believe is important to share: while wishing someone a "Happy Mother's Day" is done with the best of intentions, it's not always received as intended. This day, deeply special for many, can inadvertently revive personal sorrows for others. I encourage a gentle approach—maybe start a conversation, ask about their day, and let them lead you into their story. Recognizing and respecting each woman’s journey can make all the difference.

But amidst the bittersweet emotions, I find a profound sense of gratitude for the role I do play. I am 'Aunt,' a confidante and mentor to my nieces, nephews, and their friends. They bring joy and meaning to my life, teaching me that love and nurturing aren't confined to motherhood alone. I cherish these relationships deeply, as they remind me that my capacity to love is boundless.

This Mother's Day, I choose to honor not only the traditional forms of motherhood but all expressions of caring that weave through our lives. Whether through a word of encouragement, a listening ear, or simply being present, each of us has a role that impacts others profoundly.

Remember that while we celebrate, for some, the day is touched with sadness. Let's honor all facets of love and nurturing, embracing the broad spectrum of relationships that enrich our lives.

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1??One Thing I...

?? Learned - I've recently collaborated with a client on automating their business processes, specifically for a tennis club. It's been a fascinating journey learning about their software and membership processes. This experience has expanded my technical knowledge and given me deeper insights into the unique dynamics of running a sports facility. Every challenge we've tackled, and every solution we've implemented has added a new layer to my understanding of business operations in niche markets.

?? Read - This week, I dove into "100M Leads" by Alex Hermozi, and my biggest takeaway was a game changer: it's not just about having leads, but having engaged leads that truly make a difference. Hermozi's insights have pushed me to rethink how we engage and nurture our connections, emphasizing quality and engagement over quantity. This perspective shift is already reshaping our strategies, ensuring that every interaction we foster is meaningful and impactful.

?? Watched - The 150th Kentucky Derby was an exhilarating experience! Leading up to the derby, I immersed myself in the fascinating histories of the horses, their lineage, the jockeys, and the owners. The thrill of the race was unmatched, especially since I hit a trifecta—correctly predicting the top three finishers in order, a feat I've only achieved once before. The moment I realized my win, I couldn't help but let out a joyous scream at the bar. There's also a leadership lesson: like in racing, success often comes from diligent preparation and the courage to take calculated risks.

?? Accomplished - I had the incredible opportunity to attend the Independent Educational Consultant Association conference at the Mohegan Sun in Connecticut. There, I presented my #NextGen program, designed to help students build robust LinkedIn profiles and networks. This preparation sets them up for success when they begin their professional careers. The event was buzzing with energy and filled with passionate individuals dedicated to guiding students from grade school through college. The enthusiasm was infectious, and the connections made were inspiring and a testament to the power of community and shared goals in shaping future leaders.

??Insight for the Week

Today, I want to sing the praises of all the women I will call Mothers Without Children. By that, I mean all the women who were not able to have children or chose not to or just didn't, but who step in and step up, even though they don't usually get the flowers, the cards, or the brunch. I want to say a special word of thanks to those who are not raising their own children but are helping to raise everyone else's. They are not childless or child free. No, they are special envoy moms, perhaps mothers without portfolio -- mothers at heart. ~ Michel Martin

?Ask Kristen

Thanks to everyone who sent in questions. This one came from the state of Texas!

Q: What strategies would you suggest I employ navigating:

• reporting to a new leader unfamiliar with the work
• currently only one peer
• I’m noticing a new dynamic in which she leverages her proximity to our new leader to influence and sell her value in person.
• My prior leader valued me in my role and gave me challenging assignments; the new leader is still learning the area.
• What have you done in the past to navigate demonstrating authenticity and building a new relationship while not needing to ‘fight for airtime’?

A: Excellent questions. I’ve recently coached a leader in a similar situation. There is never one answer to situations like the one you’ve described, as it can be quite complex and depends on the personalities involved and the culture of the organization.

Navigating a change in leadership and adjusting to new team dynamics can indeed be challenging. Understanding how to communicate effectively with a new leader, especially when team interactions are evolving, requires a thoughtful approach. Whether you’re dealing with proximity bias or feeling overshadowed by peers, it’s important to address these issues constructively.

1. Give the New Leader Grace: Remember that your new leader is also adjusting to a new team and organizational culture. Patience is key during this period, allowing them to get up to speed without undue pressure. This establishes mutual respect and understanding.
2. Communicate Openly with Your Leader: Establish clear communication lines early on. Schedule a one-on-one meeting to discuss your role, achievements, and ongoing projects. This helps your new leader understand your contributions and the context of your work.
3. Express Your Feelings and Concerns: It’s important to share how you feel about the changing team dynamics, especially if you’re remote and feel excluded or overshadowed by a peer who is co-located with your boss. Mention specific instances where you felt decisions were made without your input. This isn’t just about airing grievances—it’s about looking for solutions that ensure you are included in important communications and decisions.
4. Address Proximity Bias and Peer Dynamics: Let your leader know that the physical proximity of certain team members might be influencing team dynamics more than before. Explain how this has impacted you, focusing on the effects rather than the intentions. For example, “I’ve noticed that being remote might impact my visibility and involvement in key projects. Could we establish regular check-ins or updates to ensure I have input and can hear directly from you?”
5. Frame Your Peer’s Behavior in Terms of Impact: Discuss how their actions have made you feel and the impact on your work rather than accusing your peer of wrongdoing. For example, “There have been times when decisions about my projects were communicated by others in a way that excluded me, which left me feeling out of the loop.”
6. Demonstrate Authenticity and Build Relationships: Authenticity in your interactions can naturally draw the respect and attention of your new leader. Contribute thoughtfully in meetings and be dependable.
7. Highlight Your Commitment and Seek Feedback: Use regular updates or check-ins to highlight your ongoing projects and their impact. Actively seek feedback to show your willingness to adapt and improve, which are valuable traits in any evolving team dynamic.
8. Suggest Monitoring Team Dynamics: Propose that your leader monitor how information is shared and how decisions are communicated within the team. This ensures transparency and fairness, helping everyone adjust to the new leadership structure and maintain team cohesion.

By employing these strategies, you can smooth the transition under new leadership, maintain your visibility and impact within the team, and foster a positive and productive working relationship with your new leader.

Do you have a question about a current leadership challenge or situation? You send me a direct message on LinkedIn to have it included in a future edition.