Caution – Delicate Work Ahead

Let’s face it, as of this week, politically and legally speaking the U.S. is now in deep, uncharted waters. Never before has a former President been indicted on federal criminal charges . The media is calling it historic , which it most certainly is.

At the same time, all indicators are that as a society, we haven’t been this polarized since the Civil War and we haven’t experienced such public and sometimes violent disrespect and incivility toward each other since the height of the Vietnam War.

Since almost every American has a smart phone, it stands to reason that most of us are somewhat aware of what’s going on, and have opinions on it. And there’s no doubt, whether we like it or not, that those opinions are being voiced inside our workplaces and between our employees and our customers.

In fact, in October of last year, the Society of Human Resource Management published the results of a study that indicated there has been a measurable uptick in political discussions and volatility in our workplaces. With at least three, if not four, high profile trials of the former President/current candidate coming up before and possibly during the 2024 election, tensions are going to continue to rachet up in the foreseeable future.

As Respectful Leaders, we cannot bury our heads in the sand and stay silent, hoping (and praying?) that our employees will behave themselves and treat each other with respect when it comes to politics, the law, or just about any of the 100 hot button issues that are constantly blowing up our social media feeds. But of course, at the same time, if we as leaders were to come out and take sides on any of these issues, it’s more than likely that well will alienate many of our employees and customers. Not good.

We’ve got to find some middle ground, one which acknowledges the tensions we are all feeling right now, and takes the temperature down. But how do we do that?

It’s delicate work. And it takes a lot of emotional intelligence, thoughtfulness, and compassion.

Here are some approaches to consider…

• Acknowledge Reality. At your next town hall/all hands or team meeting (we don’t recommend you call one especially to discuss the issue), you might start the meeting by saying, “Before we begin our meeting, it’s important that we acknowledge that there’s a lot going on in the news right now and that many of us have strong feelings about it. That’s completely understandable and normal. It’s also important to acknowledge that whenever we express our strong feelings about any topic, regardless of what it is, we may inadvertently create tension between us and our colleagues. This tension could make it harder for us to work together effectively. So, let’s please remember to take care of ourselves and one another, be respectful of others and try to stay focused on the great work that we’re doing here together. And now, moving on to our agenda…” Consider repeating this message – or some form of it - at other meetings and venues in the coming months.
• Use, and Tell Others About, a Simple Self-Control Technique we call, ‘Take a B.A.T.H.’ One of the easiest ways to avoid sparking or engaging in a hot and potentially destructive political debate is to think before you express your opinion. The problem is, most of us tend to express our opinions before we think. So, here’s a useful technique called “Take a B.A.T.H.” that might be helpful. (You may want to make a poster highlighting this technique).

GOT OPINIONS? Take a B.A.T.H.

B – Breathe take a deep, purposeful breath to settle yourself down and oxygenate your brain so you can think more clearly.

A – Ask Yourself “If I express my opinion right now, am I going to stir things up or cool things down?”

T – Think about how you want others to perceive you, as a “hot head” or someone who is calm, considerate, and respectful? (most of us prefer the latter).

H – Hold Off On saying anything until you’re sure that what you’re saying cools tensions rather than increases them.

Cool The Room. Sometimes, our passionate opinions are expressed during meetings and can make everyone uncomfortable. Here are five things you can say to “cool the room” when tension in your meeting is high…

1. Ask For a Breath: “Would it be possible for us all to take a deep breath and cool ourselves down before we go on?”
2. Acknowledge Strong Feelings: “I can tell you feel strongly about that,” or “I get that you’re really passionate about this.” (Try not to agree or disagree with them, you’ll only increase the tension).
3. Say, “I Think We Can Agree… that this is a very complicated, loaded, challenging topic.”
4. Admit It’s Hard to Think When: “It’s hard for me to think clearly when folks are so passionate. Would it be possible to take a breath?”
5. Maintain Respect: “I want to be respectful of your passions and opinions and I ask that you grant me the same courtesy.”

These are just of few things you can do and say that may keep things cool in your organization during this uniquely intense and polarized time in America. But there are also many more things you can do. If you’d like help addressing disrespectful behavior in your workplace, please reach out to The Center for Respectful Leadership at [email protected]