Caught in the Information Undertow

This article was originally published in the Girlboss newsletter.

Ah, focus. That elusive thing that you have to focus on just to achieve.

How very meta. Focus is like meditation, but filling your head with one thing instead of nothing, and is possibly even harder than clearing your mind is. 

I guess what I’m saying is that focus is hard. And a struggle, always. Especially in a world where we are constantly pulled in so many disparate directions. Social media makes it feel as though we are closer to, and friends with, more people than we actually are. The number of mediums that I use to connect with people and get work done has ballooned from email, Facebook, and text to email, Facebook, text, Instagram, Twitter, Asana, Slack, Google Docs, ToDoist, and more. 

I feel like I’m juggling an undertow of information and requests at all times. Am I really getting anything done, or just making more noise and popping it into someone else’s inbox? Often, it feels like the latter, and my inbox feels like a vending machine where I’m the toy that pops out the other end. 

And that’s not even the worst part. The worst part is when seeing friends becomes akin to the dreaded work “touchbase,” where we have enough time to have brunch or dinner, catch up just enough, and then do it again a month later. I’m not shallow, but those relationships start to feel shallow. How can we have meaning in our lives if everything we do is so crammed together that there’s no time to stop and process it all—the good or the bad? 

A few tips that I hope to incorporate in the future:

1. Learning the power of “no.” Sure, saying yes can open doors for us, but once we’re focused on what we want to achieve, often “no” is much more powerful. Make a list of the types of opportunities that you will consider, as well as the ones that are an automatic no. It can help to start saying “I don’t do that” rather than “I can’t do that” when responding to requests from people, so they know that as a rule, you aren’t interested in a particular type of engagement. It can be liberating to go home at the end of the day and not do something. I’ve found that not drinking on weekdays can make me much more apt to decline social events that could distract me from my focus.
2. Prioritizing. What are the three things you must accomplish this week, month, year? There should be no more than three. Everything you spend your time on should ladder up into these goals, otherwise you’re taking valuable time away from making your dreams a reality. 
3. Taking time to take care of myself. Out of saying “no” comes a world of time that I can spend taking bubble baths, visiting the Korean Spa, calling my mom, and petting my poodles.

My question to you: What’s worked and what hasn’t? What small changes are you instituting in your daily or weekly routines that give you an opportunity to find those rare Girlboss Moments? Tweet @girlboss and I’ll make sure to include a few of the best in my next email.