Caught between Compare and Despair? Here's How to Break Free.

Have you ever heard of success expectancy? When you see others around you achieving their goals, you want to be happy for them, but a small part of you can’t help but wonder where your share of success is. That’s success expectancy.?

It can show up when you’re at an industry event or a reunion, and suddenly, based on those around you, you feel very unaccomplished and think you should be further along.??

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The difference between success expectancy from straight-up envy is that you aren’t attacking the victor or diminishing their successes.?

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Instead, you’ve turned the enemy on yourself. You judge yourself. It’s a total compare and despair thoughts.

Wondering about your success from a place of comparison and expectancy can cloud your thinking.

{{ first_name }}, you've made their accomplishment about you.?

You may not even realize that you are in a vortex of compare and despair.?

When you use your energy expecting things to be different than they are, you probably aren’t working or strategizing, cleaning up your thinking, networking internally or externally, or learning and growing.?

When you spend your brain power judging where you should be, it’s difficult to be in possibility and creation.?

Should-ing yourself keeps you from really looking at where you are today. You need to know your starting point to create growth.?

What I’ve learned from my years in marketing and working with hundreds of coaching clients is that people often fail because they don’t get the amount of effort and energy required to achieve their goal. People often fail because they are unclear about the amount of consistent action needed to achieve what they want. And they often give up before they get it because they think their actions aren’t working.?

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When you are working and hustling, it can be hard to see your progress. Instead of kicking your butt and spinning in your thinking, there’s an opportunity to pause, get clear, track your efforts and refresh your thinking.?

Questions I would ask yourself:?

• What do you believe success should look like?
• Are you far from your mental image??
• What do you think is supposed to be happening??
• Why do you think it’s happening for others but not you?
• When should you be successful?
• Is it possible that you see their victory but not their hard work??
• Have you tracked your work? The hours, efforts, outreaches, and connections?

Get good and clear on your data and your thoughts. Then choose what you want to do next. Check out my podcast, The Career Refresh, to find out ways success expectancy may be showing up for you and the questions to ask yourself to move forward in your path of success. Listen on Spotify or Apple podcasts or wherever you stream your content.

Got questions? Message me.