CATFISH AND SCAMMERS
Over the last couple of years, I have had a steady stream of scammers and catfish wanting to connect with me on Facebook. Most identify as American. Most of the invitations I decline. I have had some interesting conversations with those I did accept though. After a little report building these connections showed their intent. They were after one of two things or both. Money and/or information.
?
A few years back I connected with someone who told me they were from Huston. At that time, I was enjoying a TV mini-series call: ‘Sons of Liberty’. A show about The American Revolution. I mentioned that I particularly liked how they depicted Samual Adams. I also mentioned that I only accepted the invitation because their profile had pictures of the New England Patriots and thought the American revolution would be an interesting talking point.
?
In the course of conversation, I had given this person a base line of my character and ideals. She had then offered me an undisclosed amount of money. Which I declined. She asked “Why not? Don’t you trust me”? No, I didn’t, but knew that if I said that, it would have been followed up with a prolonged epilogue of persuasion. So, I simply said, there are other people who need that money a whole lot more than I do. I never heard from her again after that.
?
Maybe they were just scoping me out to see if I was worthy of the money. Huston is after all the birthplace of the ‘Pay it Forward’ movement. Great movie. But I suspect they were just using the offer as a mechanism to get access to my bank account. I did not give them that opportunity, but I did potentially give them a base line for others on a scam team to begin an algorithm in understanding my emotional triggers.?
?
With some drilling down, I discovered that this person probably wasn’t from the US at all.
?
Subsequent connections start talking about how I am nice and try to build an emotional bond. Red flag right there. They use pronouns like; Darling and Honey. Once they feel they have made a connection with you, then the damsel in destress asks for a little help with some money.
?
I would point out to them that I was not in a position to help and they too lost interest suddenly, but not before building a profile of what stimulates me. In my case, I am an altruist and one other thing that I didn’t realize until a couple of years ago; a feminist.
?
One of my favorite movies in the 90s was ‘The Assassin’ AKA ‘Point of no Return’. Woman protagonists are kind of my thing in movies. Vi and Jynx, (an Antagonist, but looks good doing it). in ‘Arcane’, Nimona, Arya Stark and Black Widow. I love woman being successful. Independent and intrepid. While domineering, judgmental assertive woman are a little repulsive. No, there not a subtle difference. They are as different as a leader and manager. People choose to follow leaders; they don’t choose to follow a pushy boss. These are things scammers can pick up from my articles, likes, interactions and who I follow. In fact, I had once attended a job interview and they asked me about my feminism. I replied that I wasn’t feminist. I was an equalist. After the interview, I looked at where they were coming from in my posts, likes and interactions. Shit! I am a feminist. I didn’t know that. The people interviewing me did and so do others who silently watch and build an algorithm. Gues that’s why I like undercuts on woman; like in Arcane and Nimona. Like the whole excentric style; that says I don’t care what you think of me, I don’t need your approval look. I connected with someone who uses an old poster from WW2 – Feminist factory worker poster and I follow someone in one of my Facebook accounts that does some weird posts with skull face paint, but has a lovely heart. Quirky, but I love that.
?
Is this article about me or the scammers? Scammers can see all of this. That’s the point.
?
They know I like G.O.T. They know that I am very similar in nature to John Snow, but this isn’t my favorite character. Why would it be? I am just like this so not a particular point of interest for me. They know my favorite character is the intrepid and courageous Arya. Especially whenever she is with The Hound. They really complement each other well. Scammers are watching and modelling a scam to suit.
?
Fairly recently someone wanted to connect. Their profile said they lived in Melbourne Australia. Ok, I accept and we began to chat. This person tells me they came from Florida. They know no one here in Australia and are running their own business. But their dream is to make lots of money so that they can employ lots of people. My kind of person. We discussed the JFK speech; “Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country”. I heard this as a child and it has resonated with me ever since. As we spoke further, I admired this person greatly and was starting to develop feelings for them.
?
If you wanted to start a dating app, pay attention. These scammers are very gifted in identifying emotional triggers and manipulating a person’s character.
?
If you have ever seen ‘Ready Player One’, it was a lot like that. It is disturbing how quickly admiration can turn into adoration. Just like ‘Wade Wilson’, I was falling for this woman. She was everything I want in a life partner. Strange thing is, these were things I didn’t know myself. (paying attention dating app designers?). They knew who the perfect woman was for me, while I was unable to define this for decades and right up to the point the scammers did that for me. I couldn’t identify my idea of the perfect woman for me. They did. Thank you for your service scammers. So, even though they were scammers, I thank them from the bottom of my heart. They made me realize a lot about myself and I am thankful for that.
?
I got myself caught up in that whole ‘Ready Player One’/’You’ve Got Mail thing’. Of course, like suggested in ‘Ready Player One’, this wasn’t the love of my life. It was “a dood living in his mother’s basement named Chuck”! Please be wary of such things. If it is too perfect to be true it probably isn’t true and it is most probably likely a scam, not a happy ever after.
?
So here I was being wowed by this perfect woman who was infatuated with me and valued my dreams as well as their own. An intrepid, courageous and altruistic woman. Perfect for me. Early in conversations I was dissuading her advances and told her that the whole blue eyed blond thing doesn’t turn my head. Within half an hour of that conversation I got another friend request from someone with the type of physical features I did go for. One I declined. But, the one I was in deep conversation with already knew I wasn’t all that interested in superficial beauty anyway. The more we spoke the more invested I became.
?
She had told me a little about her business. I responded saying it is a dangerous market. She then told me how excited she was about getting some new stock in from France. It dropped into conversation randomly. Red flag. Nothing wrong with someone getting excited and having to share something they were holding in. But this felt a little off. I put a pin in that one. Within a couple of days, she tells me she had been robbed. I asked if she was alright and was, she in the store when it happened. She said yes, but it was odd that she had been chatting with me prior to this, had a shower and in that space of time; bubbly wowing and the her returning from the shower, she was suddenly upset about the robbery? Ear marked that conversation too.
?
She had told me it has ruined her and she will go out of business. Can’t pay her rent and had to get rid of all her employees. Couldn’t even get home to Florida. There were a lot of things hokey. She had asked for money. I couldn’t help out with that. I sent her a link for GoFundMe. She said she couldn’t use it because she was not an Australian citizen. She asked if I could set it up for her.
?
Here is one thing that she didn’t count on. I am not going to put others at risk. I wanted to find out more before committing to a GoFundMe page. I drew up a draft for the page and got a bank account ready. Sent her a copy of the draft to scrutinize. Told her I had to meet her. Weeks prior, she told me she was looking for a husband and wanted it to be me; even though I said I was already in a relationship. Now she is saying she is too distraught to meet. I said: “all the more reason for us to meet. I could comfort you in person!” They were adamant.
?
Massive red flag. So, I stalled with posting that GoFundMe page.
?
Later that week she told me her bank account has been frozen and she had no food. I sent her a Coles voucher. She was suspiciously vexatious. Telling me she can’t use it. She needs an Apple voucher. Hmmm. Ok, I’ll look into it. Turns out this is a tool of choice for scammers. The card is supposed to be used for purchasing Apple products, but scammers get them and redeem the money from them.
?
I expressed my concerns to this woman. Saying that there is nothing wrong with the voucher I sent her and that the Apple card was not viable. She was furious. I thanked her for everything and basically said that I would do anything for the person I thought she was and also told her I know it is a scam.
?
A couple of days later she expressed how it looked, but asserted that she was the real deal. She would have to settle up here and get herself home to The States and wanted to start a relationship with me once she had reestablished herself. Still very suspicious of this person, I said sure, but we have to meet. I gave her my phone number and asked her to call me. To my surprise, my computer starts ringing. I answered. It was her. I could hear her but after the call she said she couldn’t hear me. Happens with people who are unfamiliar with things like Zoom. But this was not an American accent. The call had failed. Failed purposely, I think.
?
I then asked her what her accent was. She said American. I said, do you speak Creole? She asked, "What’s Creole?" You would think that someone from Florida would have met people from Louisiana or Arkansas at some point in their life. Sketchy. Big red flag. This person wasn’t American. Either a scammer or simply hiding something else.
?
I agreed to stay connected, but recognized the red flags and was monitoring every word. Recognized that what they were doing was creating urgency. Hoping that I would do anything to make them stay. Then she asked me for some personal details to help set something up. I obliged with the basic info. My phone number; which she already had. My address. Pretty innocuous and my full name. Hmmmm. Red flag. A couple of days, later she told me the venture failed but wanted me to go into business with her. If she were real, I might have done it. But it sounded hokey and she was also being domineering. An unattractive characteristic in woman. Had too much of woman like that in my life. Not a fan. She asked for my Medicare details and some other personal info. I told her I was uncomfortable with where this was going and insisted - point blank that we meet.
?
They refused to meet. That was the end of that.
?
Good thing too. Had seen a news highlight recently with a woman in trouble for drug trafficking. She claims she was not aware, rather a victim of a love scam. Funny thing, my perfect woman who wanted me to go into business with her wanted me to receive some phones for her and onforward them to her clients. That news report kind of rings true. Like I said, hokey.
?
?
Why did I continue chatting with this person for so long:
?
1.????? I was learning the MO. Although, a lot of it is obvious as soon as it presents. The more I kept talking, the more I learnt and the longer I held their attention. I suspect that if she was part of a syndicate, I will no longer get anymore scammer connection invites because I wasted so much of their time. Big fat cross against my name. That’s good.
2.????? I was learning things I didn’t know about myself. It was in fact an important and invaluable personal growth mechanism. I am very grateful for this. Useful journey of self-discovery.
3.????? It was intoxicating. Even though I knew it wasn’t real, the emotions were very real. It felt so right and so perfect. I now understand the myth built around Sirens. (if you don’t know what a Siren is, they are like mermaids and when they sing, sailors are so mesmerized by the song that they jump off the moving ship knowing full well it meant certain death). I know I would surely drown if I jumped off the ship, but didn’t care. Just like ‘Wade Wilson’. Admiration turning into an unescapable adoration.
?
?
I never did list that GoFundMe page or give the details she had asked me for. However, the scammer/s have a lot of information about me. What they have is not enough to commit commercial fraud, but certainly plenty to run a scam on others. They have photos of me they can use to create a fake Facebook profile. The photos I was sent didn’t match up with who this person said they were. There were photos where the setting didn’t match up with the dialogue. Looked like a Dutch backpacker. I suspect they will be using my photo and my stories to pursue a new mark, just as they did with that other poor girl’s pictures.
?
What they didn’t count on however is:
?
?
?
I am however currently involved as a committee member of a school reunion. That is real. I don’t have access to the bank account. A dedicated treasurer is the caretaker. So, scammers cannot access those funds. I have no authority to access the funds, so neither will the scammer. If you see the link for that in my profile, check the date. If it was posted weeks before this post, its Ok. You could also reach out to me if you have questions about the reunion.
?
The only time I will be asking anyone for anything is after I have finished my current book. The scammer knows about my book and business plans. But be aware that if they ask for money, offer money or refuse/put off meeting with you. It’s not me.
?
Upon the completion of my book, I will be looking to collaborate with certain individuals and will be reaching out to them on LinkedIn. I will be scheduling a face-to-face meeting with them. The nature of the collaboration won’t require me to ask for any money, just an investment of our mutual time and collaboration on the projects I have in mind. While I would also forgo involvement in handling revenue and decline bank access/role as treasure, so as to protect the proceeds from scammers that know my plans. Instead, I would be receiving proportionate payment from the organization.
?
So, there you have it. There are people out there that know us better than we do and will hope to exploit that. While I highly recommend the journey, (it brought me a lot of joy and taught me a lot), make sure you don’t over commit until you meet them face to face. They may say they live in Melbourne, but could actually be detained by a syndicate that beat them if they don’t get money from a mark. They might identify as American, but could be in places like Thailand, Nigeria or Lithuania. There are no guarantees of who these people are. We have to ask Chuck to leave the basement. We need to meet with them. They are likely to say, “I will meet you once I have…..” No! Set the time and place. Meet and/or be wary of their intentions.
?
If someone offers you something for free, the phrase is, ‘Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth’. This actually is a moral relating to the Trojan Horse. If you looked that horse in the mouth you would probably get a spear in the face. Take head from that moral.
?
It is often easy to call their bluff, but they are prepared for this. They will have answers prepared and do know how to exploit the person they have studied.
?
Accept no money. Give no money. Be selective of what information you offer up and don’t put others at risk. Luckily no one got hurt as a result of my interactions with scammers. But if I didn’t have the character I did. If I wasn’t like John Snow, it could have gone very differently. The point is, they didn’t count on me being like John Snow, even though I told them that John and myself are close to identical in our ideologies and behaviors.
?
?
This is another thing to look out for in determining if someone that identifies as me, is me or not. If someone approaches you identifying as me and you want to know if it is me or not. Ask yourself; What would John Snow do?
?
?