On Catching FOMO

About four sentences into writing this newsletter today, a friend texted to tell me about a new video format LinkedIn is offering. We have a thread supporting each other on social marketing and the new videos are an opportunity for extra exposure.

I was already a couple minutes late to a call for a storytelling group I'm in. And my to-do list for the day had five or six big items on it; 10 others are on there for tomorrow even though my calendar is filled with calls. That doesn't include time I have blocked for things not on the list.

I'm packed at the moment with cool things to work on. And guess what my brain did the second I got that text?

It immediately wanted to push everything else off and add making the new videos as my top priority. FOMO hit hard. Before I could blink, something I wasn't aware of a minute ago became a must-do and I was telling myself I risked failing if I didn't shift all my plans now.

As I caught myself in that spiral and took a breath, I knew it was the thing to share with you this week -- a real-time reveal of how I work through old patterns that can derail things I'm committed to.

Last year while we were planning the wedding, I uncovered this habit with my coach. We called it moving things from optional to required and I do it in the blink of an eye. The trouble is, I see possibility everywhere, which means that I'm constantly seeing something that could happen and without realizing it, deciding it needs to happen.

A silly example: Kristen and I thought it would be fun to have playing cards with our pictures on them for our wedding guests. (Keyword is fun.)

I looked up custom cards. A single deck or a few decks were quite expensive. Ordering more decks brought the cost per unit down quite a bit but the total cost up as well. That would also make sure no one felt left out. Suddenly, we were looking at a few hundred dollar expense and I got lost imagining the disappointment people would feel?when they didn't see playing cards on their tables.

To reiterate, nobody knew about the idea but Kristen and me. The disappointment was entirely my imagination and still, I felt beholden to it and I clung onto the idea for a couple of weeks, out of fear not fun. (We didn't buy the cards once I noticed the pain I was causing myself.)

I'm at risk of losing myself in imagined disappointment with these new videos, letting my made-up stories drive me to act from fear instead of inspiration. I feel afraid to be left behind, to miss an opportunity, and to look foolish in the eyes of my colleagues for not taking action.

It's a blessing I caught it as it started and as I'm writing to you. I'm committed to showing my humanity and how I navigate it and outing myself is step one of unhooking myself.

For now, exploring the new video idea gets put at the bottom of my current priority list. I'll get supported as I consider how I might (or might not) want to include them in my regular activities. And I'll spend some time with the part that jumped to make them to see what he needs.

I'll also review the things on my to-do list and remind myself why they're on there, to get present again to my motivations and practice trusting my past self. Then I'll check some of them off to create more wins.

The beauty is I'm not doing any of this alone. My coach, therapist, friends, family, and you are all here to witness my process and reflect back what's already going well. That's far better than trying to go it alone (trust me) especially when FOMO creeps in.

Maybe I'll make a video about all of this, too. But not before I'm clear on whether it's really my choice.

Love.

Matt