Catch Me in the Future: Learning to Live Now
Copyright 2020 Nida Hussain
Have you ever had the thought, “I wish life could be simpler?” If not, consider yourself lucky. It’s interesting, despite all the advancements in technology and healthcare, the rates of mental health concerns, particularly anxiety and depression, continue to remain prevail. According to the 2016 World Health Organization report, the top 5 countries with the highest mental health disturbances include: China, India, US, Brazil, and Russia. Although there are many factors that contribute to mental health concerns and reported incidences, a common link that has been noted across times is that developed countries tend to have a higher prevalence of mental health concerns. As the saying goes, “More money, more problems.” As aspirations grow, we often forget that expectations do as well. With an increase of expectations: responsibility, self-care, and the ability to enjoy the moments in front of us often also take a hit. Slowly by slowly, we begin to take the simple moments of life for granted or as nuisances. The walks along the beach, the morning coffee with friends or loved ones, the ability to laugh at a humorless joke. These things soon enough become distractions, grounds for frustration, or something we just need to get through. In essence we lose our abilities to be mindful. On some level, we know slowing down and focusing our awareness on the present moment would benefit us, but life seems to somehow get in the way or at least we like to think so.
Work, school, homework, afterschool activities, iPad, iPod, social media. Day in and day out, our lives are filled with constant distractions. The little moments that were once treasured have slowly given way to tweets, hashtags, emoji faces, the latest tik tok moves, and the infamous cries of our parents or partners yelling “hurry up we’re getting late.” Don’t get me wrong, social media, electronics, work, and activities all have their benefits, but the truth of the matter is that we have lost touch with our abilities to detach from not only the digital world, but from our future selves. Catch me in the future has become the slogan of our times. This phenomenon is not limited to Gen Z, as many would like to believe, but spans across ages. Stop for a second, take a look around. What is it that you see and hear? Is it the obnoxious, but contagious laugh of a girl laughing at her friend’s failed attempt at being funny? Reality is that talking has been replaced by a device or a DM. The laugher we hear these days isn’t the laughter from a spoken or inside joke, but rather from a meme or a video that has gone viral. Do we know how to have a conversation anymore? Maybe you’re reading this and thinking, “That’s not me,” but what is it that you are doing at this given moment? How many tabs are open on your laptop? Is the tv or radio playing in the background? Are you waiting for a customer rep to answer your call? Reality check is that you, me, and for that matter my grandmother are all guilty of what I like to call mind numbness. We exert our minds to the point we lose value for the things in front of us. We watch tv, but we are working at the same time. We talk to friends and families, while we drive or write a report. The state of being is no longer an expectation because we don’t even know how or who to be. All we know or think we know is who we want to be or where we want to be in the next few years. We expect future generations to get their priorities in order when our own priorities fall short in the face of work, emails, and meetings.
A common concern parents have about their kids is the amount of time spent on phones. Yet, for many, spoons have been replaced or accompanied by a phone at the dinner table by the adults, and kids alike. The point of this article isn’t to point blame or guilt at anyone, but rather a wake-up call for everyone. It’s cliché to say live each day as if it is your last, so instead I say live each moment for that moment. Dinner is meant for nourishment and bonding. Watching a show is meant to engage your minds, and bring emotions to life. Life is meant to live, not planning on living after the day is done. Each day we lose a piece ourselves. Who or what exactly do we lose ourselves to? That’s something only you can answer. At the end of the day I ask myself: For who/what and at what cost? It’s a bitter truth, but essential in a time where days feel like minutes. Easier said than done, but not impossible. One thing I will give credit to kids for is their inherent need to live in the moment. Although their moments may not be productive to many, the art of just being can take many years to master, and is often triggered by a blow to our mental and/or physical well-being. The art of being in the moment or mindfulness is not some mystical hippie concept or for the faint of heart. Mindfulness takes the courage to say, “I matter.” In its’ most basic form, mindfulness is the practice of bringing one’s awareness to the present with the eventual goal of recognizing and coming to terms with one’s thoughts, sensations, and feeling. From Harvard to Oxford, studies after studies have shown the benefits of mindfulness on overall health. Whether you’re looking for a boost of positive emotions or ways to decrease blood pressure, mindfulness can help. From the DIY doers, to the tailor-made customers. From the life has no price tag believers to the best things in life are free promoters. Mindfulness transcends age, race, and SES. In this moment, take a deep breath, count to 5, and take a second to re-introduce yourself to you. The you in this exact moment, in this exact place, in all its’ entirety. It’s time you decide. The next time we meet, will I meet you or a version of you, give or take 5 years. For me, you’ll catch me right where I am. I may screw up, but that’s part of the journey. Catch you while you can!
Mindfulness is not a task to complete, but a way of life that takes practice: Simple Ways to Begin Your Journey to Mindfulness:
These are suggestions you can do once a day, once a week, once a month. You can gradually increase the time and frequency: Make it your own!
1. Wake up 5-10 minutes before your normal wake-up time.
a. Step outside and take in a few deep breaths
i. Smell the flower (inhale through your nose) over 5 seconds
ii. Hold for 5 seconds
iii. Blow out the candle (exhale through your mouth) over 5 seconds
b. Grab a coffee, tea, or juice. Take a seat, and use your 5 senses to describe what is happening in that exact moment.
i. What do I taste?
ii. What do I see?
iii. What do I hear?
iv. What do I smell?
v. What do I physically feel?
c. Take a shower in slow motion.
2. Select a food or beverage, and eat or drink in slow motion. Use your 5 senses to describe what you are eating or drinking.
a. Eating a bowl of cereal:
i. Savor each bite. Take at least a minute between each bite. If this feels to long, then start out by doing this for 5 minutes or with 30 second intervals in-between bites, then you can gradually increase.
ii. What does the cereal taste like? What does the milk taste like?
iii. What is the texture of the cereal in your mouth? What happens to the texture when you add milk? What does the spoon inside your mouth feel like? What does holding the spoon feel like (cold, warm, slippery)?
iv. What do you hear when you bite down on the cereal? What sound does the spoon make when you dip it in the bowl?
v. What does the cereal smell like? Does the milk have a scent? Any other scents in that moment that you notice?
vi. What does the cereal look like (shapes)? What else do I observe in that moment? If your sight deviates to far off from the cereal, then gently bring your sight back to the cereal.
3. Journal for 5 minutes:
a. Reflect on what you’re feeling and thinking in that moment.
b. Try not to judge the feelings and thoughts. Let them come in.
c. Gradually work on accepting these feelings as a part of you. Not something that will be part of you forever, but for now.
4. On a drive going home, or to work, or to school:
a. Challenge yourself to observe 5 new things. You can do this as a family.
i. Of course safety first.
b. Reflect on your state of mind for 5 minutes before turning on any music or making any phone calls.
5. Take a coffee, water, snack break during the middle of the day.
a. Give yourself at least 5 minutes to sit with yourself in the moment.
b. Thoughts may go to work or something stressful, but try and bring yourself back to the moment.
6. While watching TV, make a goal to put away your phone and screens for at least 10 minutes.
a. Increase gradually
b. Try not to move to grab something unless it is an emergency
c. Enjoy watching that show
7. For those who pray:
a. Pick one prayer where:
i. You will listen to every word you say.
ii. Feel each repetition of movement involved in the prayer
1. Hands folded
2. Bending down
3. Feeling the beads on your finger
8. Play with your food while baking or cooking: Slow it down!
a. Have fun with it.
i. Feel the textures
ii. Smell the scents
b. Let loose
c. Cook like you’ve never cooked before!