The Cashmere Effect

I’m a sucker for my old cashmere sweaters. They’re reliable, warm and inviting. They envelop me in a certain coziness that lingers on my skin long after I place them back in the closet. It’s a memory I can access right now even though I haven’t seen those sweaters in months. That experience has me counting down the days to the first cool snap of Fall, year after year.  The way my old sweaters make me feel is what’s so powerful. I call that feeling- “the cashmere effect”. 

In late Summer of 2014, I got a call from an acquaintance about a little tech start-up. He said he’d heard good things about it,  that they may start hiring and mentioned the CEO was a friend. He asked me if I’d be interested in an introduction.  After a little sleuthing about the company, I felt an undeniable flutter.  I loved what they did and why they did it. I called him back and said, “Heck yes- I’d love an introduction.”  

On the day of my meeting, I wandered around a courtyard of start-ups, that all looked the same, searching for their office. A kind soul with bright blue eyes stopped and asked if he could help me. I told him  I was looking for Ansible. He smiled and in a friendly voice said, “You’ve found us.”  He walked me in, introduced me to a few folks and visited with me while I waited. His face lit up as he talked about his work. I could feel his enthusiasm and I could feel how much he loved that little company. His energy was magnetic. I wanted to learn more. After a few minutes, the CEO greeted me. He was a warm soul with a big smile and the tired eyes of someone who’d been flying coast to coast for weeks. We spent the next hour  in an effortless conversation about his vision for the business, my experience and the people he was bringing together to take Ansible into the big world.  As we wrapped up, he sat back in his chair and said, “Okay, one last question. It’s the end of the quarter. You have big, big business to wrap up. How would you move the people forward?” Without hesitation, I said, “I’d lead them with kindness.” 

A wide, knowing smile stretched across his face. He sprung up from his chair and asked me to follow him. We walked down a short hallway and stopped when we reached a small sign that held their three core values. “Be kind” was the very first. At that moment, I knew I’d found my people. I knew I wanted to be part of building that little company. When I left them that day, I felt something deep. Those people stuck with me. They had a rare and palpable collective passion for their work that was undeniable. I couldn't shake the experience I’d had with them. When I wrote the CEO to say thanks for the time he’d shared, I told him our meeting felt like cashmere. From the first interaction in the courtyard to all the ones that followed, I felt something real that lingered, just like my sweaters, and stirred my soul. Thinking back on it now, I remember the way I felt  more than anything else. It was a purposeful sort of cozy kindness that is still very real for me years later. 

2020 has not been cashmere cozy. It’s been a threadbare wool sweater of harrowing challenges- pulling at every seam of humanity. There’s never been a more critical time to slow down and give mindful thought to the impact we’re having on one another in life and in business. Success or failure in our largely virtual world relies on the experiences we create when we’re together. The ideas we exchange and the words we choose are only part of the story. The energy we bring to our interactions determines the more important intangible component- our intention. It is intention that shapes our tone when we convey our ideas and words. It’s what creates the feeling- the experience we have when we’re together.

Ego, greed and agenda in business have no place here. We’re in a human time where people are craving selfless, kind and reliable business interactions more than ever before. If you haven’t tapped into this quite yet, take a look at the recent ad campaigns from companies like Publix, Apple, Microsoft and Google the next time you turn on your tube.  You’ll notice a shift from product to people. That’s not all. If you actually take them in, you’ll notice they are stories that evoke feelings. I never imagined that commercials about video conferencing platforms, technology suites or groceries would tug at my heart strings but these companies have made that feeling very real for me. I’m betting it’s true for countless others as well.  

What people feel when they do business can create brand loyalty. It can also give them a reason to jump ship- both inside and outside of your company walls. Understanding this is especially important for people working in customer service, sales, or support roles. If this is you, you’re on the front lines for your company.  You are the brand for everyone on the outside. You’re the face, the voice and the one responsible for the experience and the feeling your customers take away. That’s powerful and it rests squarely on your shoulders. 

If you’re in a marketing role, you have an enormous responsibility too. You and your team are weaving the brand narrative for the company you represent. You’re telling the world, this is who we are, this is what we do and this is why we do it.  To create a meaningful experience for the long haul, your message needs to include people. If it doesn’t,  you may consider going back to the drawing board.  If you’re in a communication or leadership role, you’re responsible for not only saying the right words but for making them real because you live into the words you share-everyday. You’re the brand for everyone on the inside. Let the gravity of that sink in- really feel it.  

All that said, people do business and this year has been super tough for millions of us. The challenges of the outside world can test our goodness and make it really hard to show up as the best version of ourselves. On our worst days we toss out course burlap, instead of cashmere. You may think one bad moment is just that but consider this. When you engage with someone, you may be the only person they talk with that day.  That one cashmere killing interaction could have them running into the arms of a competitor- as an employee or a customer. 

The question becomes this. How can you bring energy to your words, tone and ideas to create a warmth and connection that leaves people smiling and feeling something deep for years to come? Here are three ways to get the good vibes flowing. 

1. Slow down. Your confined conditions may still have you spinning out of control as you juggle ongoing uncertainty, kids in school and oh right, your business that still needs the best of you. You have to slow down and realize where you are before you can create and extend the positive energy that will lead to the good stuff. 
2. Reflect. Sit mindfully, dig deep and give some thought to these questions. What do I hold dear? How am I living into those things? What changes do I need to make to share positive juju or to let go of the toxic gunk that’s getting in the way? 
3. Get curious.  Ask yourself these three questions. Who do I serve through the work that I do? What do I do?  Why does it matter? This is where purpose is realized and intention is born. 

As you do, think about your own experience. When do you remember the last time you felt something selfless, kind and real when you did business with someone? What was it that stuck with you? Maybe it was the time you needed technical help because your video conferencing pooped out. Just as you were unraveling, you were met with a kind and patient voice that said “Don’t worry, we’ll figure this out together”. Maybe it was the time you were too afraid to go out and buy groceries for your family.  You called, placed your order and a friendly person answered and said, “I understand. We’re here. We’ve got you. We’ll deliver to your home”. Or maybe it was the last time you felt like the world was crashing around you. You suffered silently until your leadership gently pulled you aside. They said “Take a few days off to rest. We’ll cover for you.”  Now, think about the hard days when you weren’t met with kindness or warmth and you wish you had been.  Every interaction is an opportunity for us to connect and create a meaningful experience whether it’s person to person, through marketing campaigns or speaking to employees at a virtual Town Hall. They are opportunities to get intentional about extending kindness to create a deep feeling that sticks with people- just like my old sweaters.   

The late Maya Angelou said, “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Her simple words are some of the most powerful I’ve ever known. Connect with your intention. Make sure whatever you create serves something greater than yourself. If  you connect with it deeply enough, you’ll show up in that spirit. You’ll be able to extend real kindness and you will be on your way to creating an unforgettable experience for everyone you encounter. That’s the cashmere effect and that feeling, is what the people you engage with will remember the most. *