A Case for Youth Suicides: Be Brave — Vulnerability Can Save Lives.

It took me a while to write this. I avoided it like many people avoid uncomfortable conversations and uncomfortable feelings. But nothing gets accomplished, no one gets inspired and no positive changes are made from silence.

Young people in Canada (ages 8–24) are facing a daunting, growing epidemic of suicide in their immediate environments. The statistical record of deaths is gut-wrenching to acknowledge which often leaves friends, family members and clinical support workers feeling scattered and powerless. This chain effect is what stimulated a myriad of questions in my mind that led to writing this article.

“What is the root of the negative emotions and/or mental melee that leads individuals to suicide?”

“For every individual that suicides, what is the impact on the ones around them?”

“How are their mindsets and choices altered in managing their own cognitive & emotional demons?”

“And what actions do they take to find and shine a light on the demons hiding within others?”

I had my first encounter with suicide before I entered high school. Then was exposed to more cases during high school. Then university. I became conscious of the fact that humans are masters at masking that which exposes vulnerability. Every human being I came into contact with that eventually suicided were delightful people to be around. Could it be that, because they knew what it was like to be consumed with negativity that they wouldn’t wish that upon even their worst enemy? Many of us have the rules of appropriate appearance and presentation so incredibly ingrained that we dance between the existence of two selves. At which point, it can become confusing as to who should rightfully own the spotlight.

The world doesn’t stop spinning for anyone. But we can still take this moment to pause & reflect on what the order we have created is teaching people about cultivating an authentic life of quality.

We are so focused on the advancement in our external world that we neglect the dire need to advance internally as well. We leave feelings of insecurity unchecked and pretend that inescapable behavioural patterns produced by some form of trauma or disbelief will just subside into the dark abyss of our mind. Many of us were never taught or shown how to face our own lies head-on.

I want you to pause here and think back to your childhood.

Can you remember having a conversation with a parent/caregiver about facing negative emotions and the importance of bringing them to light?

I can’t.

You just, get on with it.

You just, grind through it.

You just, suck it up.

WHERE IS THE BRAVERY IN THAT?

I only realised in my mid-20’s, that Social & Emotional learning is also healing. It embodies being honest with yourself, not with a voice of judgement, but with a voice of compassion and the ultimate goal of becoming the best version of yourself, on your own terms. It encourages exploration into coping with negative emotions & habits while creating new and uplifting ones. It brings us through experiences in which we learn so much more about ourselves through those who are different from us and it creates a sense of responsibility in shaping ourselves in accordance with our needs by refusing to give that power away to others.

We must equip young people with these imperative skills of survival that must have been lost in the midst of placing achievements appealing to the ego, on a pedestal.

Rather than searching for counsellors in every crevice of the world, why don’t we use our resources to develop places/programs for expression and education? Each and every one of us should be asking ourselves, “how can I use my voice to change the culture of stigma surrounding mental health & well-being?” This doesn’t mean you need to share your deepest secrets with the world but it does mean that you need to embody the lessons you learned from your struggles and share that sense of empowerment you now stand in.

Look — I’m not a clinical psychologist, certified counsellor or social worker. Nor do I hold a Master’s degree in any form of social study. But what I do know is this:

When you can be honest in showing your authentic self — bruises, scars and all — you can create a space for other people to empathise.

Through that empathy, you see another person who has been detrimentally affected by harbouring negative thoughts and emotions. Just like you. At that point, it’s about recognising another struggling soul committing to survival. Strength in numbers, right? See, when you shine a light on darkness it weakens the power it holds over you, even if it’s just for a moment. But it’s in these brief moments that we experience clarity. We feel lighter, more conscious and strength radiates throughout our body. If just for a moment.

We need to give these moments a boost.

When someone expresses honest insecurities and/or fears, I’ve seen so many young people act as though it wasn’t heard or laugh with the addition of an insincere joke about that individual’s level of “manhood” or sense of security. I’ve heard too many young people mutter, “I’m not good with emotions.”

We can’t let this go on. We need to become better at facing our onslaught of emotions. “I’m not good at this” is no longer acceptable. Let that phrase be an entryway to becoming better. And if you’re the one saying this, know that you can’t do it alone forever.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, we need each other. We need each other to stop hiding ourselves from the world and refuse to put so much stake into what other people think.

Our mental health is at grave risk if this continues. We need to relearn & reprogram the way we want to operate. And one of the strongest forms of learning is through observation. My personal saving grace has been sharing conversations about those “demons in the dark” and expressing my understanding of how we are meant to evolve from it through the art of spoken word. Be an example of bravely standing in your authenticity to inspire others to look within themselves and get honest about what they need.

We can all play a part in saving lives if we are conscious enough to save our own.

Be Brave.