In Case You Missed It
Victoria Cumberbatch, ACC
Community Driven Resilience Coach for the Neurodiverse | Workshop & Deep Work Facilitator | Breathwork Guide
The Quagmire // Podcast & Events // Invitation
12min. read originally written in full to the newsletter community
Last week, somethin must have been in the air.
All my coaching clients and even several friends, were in the dumps. I mean, the true muddy quagmire of atrocious self talk, finite thinking, rabbit holes of anxiety + uncertainty, and tons of tears.
I feel them.
The hurdle I often face in showing up as a coach is, keeping my own projections at bay and not advising. It's t o u g h for me. As a recovering people pleaser + perfectionist, my inclination is to put a balm over the pain. Solve, fix, troubleshoot.
But with coaching, it's to remain just far enough away from the emotional body of clients so that the coach can remain mentally + emotionally clear in order to their job; being the mirror.
Being the mirror means :: actively listening such that you can almost catch the inconsistencies / misalignments / limiting beliefs / self made narratives that are running on an endless loop behind the scenes. Every single person can benefit from the mirror, because as humans on this plane, we simply do not catch for ourselves. It's not impossible, it's just highly unlikely that we will naturally view ourselves objectively when we're typically unaware of any issue.
I found myself totally in the dumps after these calls. I wanted to be their friend, but I had to uphold a different and more rigid persona in order to be the pillar of support I said I'd be. I doubled up on my own somatic exercises to release any energy + emotions that weren't mine, that I had attracted from my clients. Didn't work.
So I went to my usual dopamine drizzle activity, you know those tendencies you have when you need a little pick me up? Mine is the sauna. After a workout, I was in the sauna listening to hertz frequencies [find your favorite here] when I had a little firework of a download. Share how you, Viki, have worked through your own quagmire. Be real & vulnerable.
Duh.
So, I cut my sauna short [else I thought I'd lose my idea] and nearly sprinted to my car. I turned on Instagram live and spoke off the top of my head for about 30mins. about how I got myself into depression and the journey I took to walk myself, very slowly, out of it. I felt, putting this POV on social media [and not directly to my clients as advice] kept the distance such that I could be a vulnerably honest person on the internet that simply shared their experience with a common life hurdle.
This worked for me. It seemed that verbally expressing [duh] this was just what I needed to feel rid of all that nagging energy. I felt like I was both in integrity [with the coaching ethical code] as well as relatable [because any semblance of being perceived as superior is highly unlit for me] and these are two vital values for me.
If you'd like to take a listen or share with someone else who's goin through it, find them below.
领英推荐
Podcast Episodes
On Finding your Release, Episode 1.1
If you’re like me and looovveee to read about all the modalities, but also mid key frustrated that the HOW is rarely inserted → here’s a how for you.
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Until next time! xx Vik
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