Case Study: The Path to Vulnerability

Background

Sarah Kim is a 48-year-old Chief Operating Officer (COO) of a mid-sized technology firm. Known for her analytical skills, rigorous attention to detail, and strong focus on results, Sarah has a reputation as a no-nonsense leader who commands respect and demands excellence. However, beneath her steadfast exterior, her team and colleagues observe a leader who often struggles with vulnerability, avoids open communication about mistakes, and rarely engages in open conversations about team morale. Despite her successful track record, Sarah’s resistance to showing vulnerability has created a gap between her and her team.

In recent months, the company has faced significant challenges with declining revenue and competition from disruptive startups. The pressures have increased Sarah’s workload and fueled her desire for strict control over her team. However, this need for control, coupled with her reluctance to show weakness, has led to decreased morale. Team members report feeling that they cannot be open about their concerns, and junior employees feel distanced from Sarah’s management style, which they describe as "hard to reach."

Challenge

As the COO, Sarah plays a critical role in decision-making and cross-departmental collaboration. However, her reluctance to openly discuss challenges or show vulnerability has stifled team innovation. When issues arise, Sarah often deflects personal responsibility, citing external factors rather than acknowledging her own mistakes or considering alternative perspectives. This creates an environment where team members feel discouraged from expressing their views, and morale has suffered as a result.

Sarah’s direct reports have grown increasingly hesitant to voice concerns or share new ideas, fearing they may be dismissed. For instance, when a team member raised a potential new process for managing projects, Sarah responded with, "This is the way we’ve always done it, and it works." As a result, employees feel less invested, and turnover has become a growing issue. HR has also received feedback about Sarah’s reluctance to embrace different ideas or openly discuss the company's current challenges, leading to an atmosphere of stagnation.

The Turning Point

The situation reaches a tipping point when a major project misses its deadline, costing the company a high-profile client. The CEO, concerned about the trend, asks Sarah and her team to assess what went wrong. During the review, her team members are reluctant to speak candidly, fearing Sarah’s reaction. This silent tension frustrates Sarah, who privately tells HR that she feels unsupported and is under too much pressure.

Following the meeting, Sarah meets with the Head of HR, Laura, to discuss the team's performance and how they can move forward.

Conversation with HR

Setting: Sarah and Laura meet in a quiet conference room to discuss the challenges facing Sarah’s team. Laura senses the opportunity to guide Sarah toward a more open approach.

Laura: "Sarah, I can see how committed you are to making this team successful, and I know it’s been challenging with the recent setbacks. How do you feel about how the team is handling the pressure?"

Sarah: sighs "Honestly, I feel like they’re holding back. No one wants to step up. I’m left to make all the tough calls, and it feels like I’m carrying the team."

Laura: "I understand that feeling, Sarah. You’ve been in a high-stakes role for a long time, and it’s natural to feel that way. Have you thought about how your team might be experiencing the situation?"

Sarah: "Well, I don’t think they feel the same pressure I do. If they did, they’d work harder, offer solutions instead of silence. But they seem... hesitant."

Laura: "Sometimes, when leaders don’t show a bit of their own challenges, it can make others feel hesitant to speak up, even if they have ideas. I know vulnerability can feel uncomfortable, but it’s a powerful tool in leadership. Do you feel comfortable sharing when you’re under pressure with your team?"

Sarah: pauses "I’ve always thought that leaders should stay strong, keep personal challenges out of the workplace. But maybe... maybe I could try to be more open. It’s just not how I was taught to lead."

Laura: "I completely understand that, and you’re not alone in feeling this way. This is where coaching could be a real asset. A coach can help you explore different ways of connecting with your team, building trust, and showing strength through vulnerability. You don’t have to change overnight, but it might help you see things from a fresh perspective."

Sarah: nods slowly "Coaching, huh? I’ve always thought coaching was for people who need a lot of help. But maybe I could use someone to help me connect with the team differently."

Laura: "Exactly. A coach isn’t there to tell you what to do. They’re a partner, helping you explore new ways of leading and overcoming the challenges of the role. I think you’ll find it rewarding and empowering."

Outcome

After her discussion with Laura, Sarah decides to try coaching. Through the process, she hopes to gradually learn to embrace vulnerability and recognize it as a leadership strength rather than a weakness.

Do you demonstrate vulnerability? What has been the impact on your team, colleagues and other stakeholders?