The Case for Curiosity
Someone I really love tried to commit suicide this weekend.
Our town is full of good loving active people who want to help and I am one of them. When someone does something like this the pull to narrative is like an undertow. We want to put together a story that explains the act.
But this is not a time for conclusions but rather a time for intellectual humility.
Just like we are being taught [or reminded, depending on where you started] by the massive sustained civil rights uprising, ascribing motive to behavior totally forecloses discovery. Meaning, once you have a story you believe in – why who did what – you stop asking questions. And questions are where it’s at. I really believe we could do no better than to spend the rest of our days asking questions.
Of all the mantras I've heard over the years, here's the one that comes in handy the most, from raising kids to changing the world:
MORE CURIOSITY,
LESS JUDGMENT
By judgment, I mean coming to a final conclusion about a person or a group. When a judge bangs the gavel, the case is closed. But we hardly know anything about each other – that’s how it felt this weekend. And that's how it feels when you watch different races describe each other.
The only way forward is with humility and curiosity and better, deeper questions that can take the conversation to new places, places where we can finally keep each other safe.
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I am on Instagram every Wed evening at 5pm pst taking about things like this. Join me there.
Playwright / Equine Volunteer/ Retired Career Counselor and Employment Specialist
3 年https://ronrolheiser.com/suicide-the-most-misunderstood-of-all-deaths/#.YTY8Zi2ca7A Father Rolheiser has a slew of wonderful, comforting articles on his website about suicide.
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4 年I completely agree Kelly Corrigan! There is so much judgement all around us right now and the way forward is by asking more questions and really listening to what we hear. It's so much more comfortable to stay in our spaces where we "know" (or think we know) how things should be. Something like a suicide attempt or protests and uprisings can act as motivation to force us more into a learning posture instead. I wish your loved one much healing!