Carrot or Stick: Which Works Best For You?

Goals need motivation of one kind or another. Are you like the donkey chasing the carrot or are you running away from the stick? Knowing what motivates you is vital to achieving your goals. Do you work on positive or negative motivation? And how can this be used to serve your goal?

Some goals don’t matter that much. Which then begs the question, why are they a goal in the first place? Others matter deeply. Others are a part of your overall vision for the future. They are part of how your ideal life will look like.

For me, personally, I have a positive motivation for my overall goal to make my youngest daughter with additional needs as independent as possible.? I want her to be happy, safe and have the feeling of being valuable to the world.?

But in another sense my motivation is negative. Worry drives me towards this goal because I’m scared about what might happen if she doesn’t develop the skills to live independently. Disasters of all sorts play on my mind, not least that would she be cheated out of any money we might leave her and find herself homeless because she couldn’t pay her rent or signs away any property she might inherit. Then what would happen? A care-home that really isn’t up to standard? The possibilities are endless in my imagination.

In effect my motivation is both positive and negative. Positive wishes for her; negative fears for me. It’s hard to say which is more dominant but staving off those disaster scenarios in my mind certainly helps get me out of bed in the mornings. It helps me to focus my energy. In this sense, knowing my motivation is helping me towards reaching my overall goal.

But what this has also given me is a sense of security that when I’m no longer around, she will have greater self-sufficiency and be less vulnerable. In this sense, my negative motivation is serving as a driver towards my goal. I am running away from the stick!

Find out more about what I do to help parents answer the question - What happens when I’m no longer around? at redgiraffesolutions.com. You can also download my free course on Building A Vision For Your Childs Future.?