Caring for the “Whole Person”

Life has tested us in so many ways over the past year. I’m among the fortunate who have not fallen ill due to COVID-19, and for that I’m incredibly grateful. But like so many others, I have been affected by social implications from the pandemic. Even with a loving family and supportive colleagues, it’s possible to feel lonely at times. And I never realized just how profound a hug could be – something I used to take for granted with my parents, yet to protect them it’s been a year since I’ve been able to hug them. Having these feelings doesn’t make me or anyone else deficient in any way… it just makes us human.

We are hard-wired for social connection, and losing our ability to connect in person has been one of the toughest parts of the pandemic. Before COVID-19, I spent a good chunk of my time on the road, visiting clients, coworkers, and partners all over the world. In addition to being with my family, regular face-to-face interactions with my “work family” also gave me a lot of joy – and contributed to my overall well-being. As the months have gone by, I have found that I have to be even more intentional to find time to stay closely connected with all the people who are important in my life: family, friends, colleagues, clients, and partners.

To that end, I’ve made it a point to find ways to connect, from simple acts to using more technology. One example is taking walks with my wife and one of my kids or as a family. Being together and talking with one another helped immensely in dealing with the stress of adjusting to pandemic life – and family togetherness continues to sustain me, even as the winter forced us to come up with new rituals. I have also found ways to stay close to my parents. We visit in person in a socially distanced way, and I check in regularly with a phone call to see how they’re doing. Just hearing their voices gives me a mental boost. I also try to remember to make phone calls to catch up with my friends, because I’ve found that texting sometimes just isn’t enough.

I intentionally prioritize connection at work, too. Across the company we quickly mastered video calls, and this has become my preferred way to stay in close contact with my direct team members. An unexpected silver lining is that we are actually connecting even more regularly now than before the pandemic, when so many of us were traveling so much of the time. Another bright spot: virtual meetings have enabled me to connect with many more of my co-workers around the world. I’ve especially enjoyed our “Let’s Talk” chat sessions, where we bring together small groups to share what’s on their minds and ask questions. It’s kind of cool to be “invited” into everyone’s homes – with the background noises, the kids showing up, the pets making an appearance, etc. All of that makes us more human!

These are some of the approaches I’ve used to stay close to others and to combat feelings of loneliness over the past year. It’s an ongoing focus, and we’re all struggling with it to one degree or another, as evidenced by what’s been called the “epidemic of loneliness” sweeping the globe. This is especially concerning since loneliness has been linked with mental health challenges like depression and anxiety (both of which have skyrocketed during the pandemic), and even with physical illnesses like heart disease and dementia.

Loneliness provides a powerful example of how closely mental health and physical health are intertwined. For far too long, society has seen them as separate and distinct, but today we know that view is misguided: studies have shown that people who have a chronic condition like diabetes, cancer, or heart disease are more likely to also have depression – and that stress is a major risk factor for developing the chronic diseases that now affect six in 10 adults in the U.S.

Against this backdrop, it’s more important than ever that we are intentional about taking care of our mental health as well as our physical health. Staying socially connected while being apart is an absolutely critical part of that equation. For me, I’m looking forward to warmer weather, which means being outside more, and hopefully watching some of my son’s baseball games – and to the excitement of seeing which college my daughter will attend this fall. I’ve also taken inspiration from the many examples my co-workers have shared. Their tips include everything from learning a new skill online, to planning a virtual dance party, to scheduling home lunch dates with their spouse. I love these ideas, and I continue, like many, to learn how to not just make it through the pandemic but to enjoy life, even in a pandemic.

Let me hear from you -- what ideas or tips do you have to connect with others?