Caregiving 101: Heat and Hygiene

Since I moved back to my hometown of Seattle to work at the intersection of Design and Artificial Intelligence, I've been learning a lot about caregiving. My parents are in their late 80s, and three years ago my father had a stroke that took away his ability to be the eminently useful robot around the house that he once was. It's given me a chance to learn a lot about what it's like to go from 100 to zero over a prolonged period of time. In the process, I've learned a few things that might be useful to other caregivers out there.

A Hot Towel ("o-shi-bo-ri") Can Be Heaven

When you can't get around the house anymore, it's really nice to have access to a fresh wet (and preferably hot) towel to clean oneself up. It's really easy to prepare if you have an electric hot water pot like you can easily get online. Just have a bunch of white hand towels ready in your kitchen. Pop a folded one into a large bowl. Pour the hot water on top. Let it sit for a minute while you're getting other caregiving stuff ready. Wring it and see your caregiving receiver get melty melty. It's an easy thing to do that immediately raises the standard of living for a bed-bound person.

Good Food Definitely Warms The Soul

There's that scene in the Pixar film "Ratatouille" where the icy cold critic sips the bowl of soup made by the young chef, and then the critic feels magically transported back to his mother's kitchen sipping the same soup made by her. Prior to this moment, the young chef feels like the critic is set to ruin his career. But the critic instead embraces him — filled with the nostalgic love for his mother's soup. This scene in Ratatouille has been my inspiration for making meals that my father will like. They tend to always involve fish. LOL. He grew up in a fishing village in the southern part of Japan, and so fish is really important to him. So I make a lot of fish.

Shave And A Haircut? Yes, Please!

I recall there was a barbershop a few doors down from our tofu store in the International District. It was owned by a Vietnam War veteran who I think was named George Sakoda. It was called "George's Barbershop" so I figure I got the first name right. My dad would go there after our store was closed, and Mr. Sakoda would let my dad come in after he had already closed. Communities tend to work like this — they're always helping each other in meaningful and important ways. One time when I was maybe 11, my mom told me to go get my dad. I ran up the street and peeped into the closed barbershop front window to see my dad having whipped cream all over his face. I waited patiently until he came out and asked him what was going on. He said he was getting a shave. I always remember that moment, and so I have created a weekly "barbershop shaving experience" for my dad. He really likes it. Dad doesn't really say very much anymore, but I can tell by the way he breathes that it's the bees knees for him.

Now, I know this kind of experience is only relevant to caregiving for a man, but I imagine a similar thing can be done for a woman as well. My mom is fortunately still mobile, but I'm wondering what I can do for her like this barbershop thing. For the future when she might need a little pick-me-up like this. I've definitely got some ideas.

Please feel free to add any things you have been doing down in the comments section below as "pick me ups" for your lucky caregiving recipient. And do take care of *yourself* when you can! (Hugs) —JM

In Closing ...

These kind of "eldercare thoughts" are definitely going to be added to this year's upcoming SXSW Design in Tech Report on Design and Artificial Intelligence (March 2023 in Austin, Texas) because I think they might be useful to share more broadly. I've collected all kinds of technologies to assist my ability to caregive more efficiently. There's some really cool stuff out there!