Be careful of "Positivity"

Positivity can be dangerous. It can be more dangerous than negativity. I'm talking about TOXIC POSITIVITY. If you wanna know more about it in depth, dive in!

Toxic positivity is the idea that we must focus only on the positive emotions and aspects of life. Since our childhood we're taught to stay positive no matter what happens in our life, but we're never taught how to deal with mental pain.

About 800,000 people commit suicide every year and toxic positivity happens to be one of its reasons. When someone tries to talk out their pain and sorrow, they get the obvious answer - 'get a hobby', 'be a man', 'it's just a phase', 'move on bro!'

The thing about toxic positivity is that, it shuts out negative talks completely to a point where a person is unable to express his/her trauma of emotions because of their "positive vibes only" circle.

Openly expressing to someone and being heard is one of the most prominent things people desire in order to get healed from their pain, but toxic positivity opposes it.

Science has proven that toxic positivity creates a mental imbalance of emotions in the brain between joy and sorrow. Life is a mixture of both, we can't choose one. But if we force only joy through toxic positivity, it indirectly causes more stress and anxiety in the brain.

This pressure can ultimately lead to major mental health issues. It's okay to not to be okay. We have our highs and lows, but when we encounter a wave of sorrow we should not try to avoid it but take the time to grieve over it.

We need to give ourselves time and energy to slowly heal and get over the pain. You can't just keep it inside you, you have to let it all out.

Do not get fooled with the "over-positive" posts and videos on the social media which goes like - "Never give up! Keep grinding!" "This is a phase, dust yourself up!" "Yoga is the solution." "Winners never cry! You got this!"

If you embrace toxic positivity today, it'll harm you tomorrow.

Imagine this scenario, you broke your arm and instead of putting a bandage around it to heal it, you continue using your arm as usual with a 'Never Give Up' attitude. What'll happen to your arm?

The same case is applied to your mental health. When you're emotionally and mentally depressed instead of forcing joy, use your bandage - the time needed for yourself to talk and grieve in order to heal.

So how can we treat the hurt without any toxic positivity?

-Instead of saying "Never give up! Be positive!"

- Say "It's never fine and easy to feel like that. Is there something we can do today that you'd feel good?"

- Instead of saying "Stop being so toxic and negative!"

- Say "I don't know what you're going through, but I'm always here for you."

- Instead of saying "Focus on the bright side!"

- Say "I don't know what to say now, but I'm really glad you shared it with me."

- Instead of saying "Try doing (this, that, this) to get over it."

- Say "I'm here to listen."

If you're someone in this phase of grievance talking with a person you genuinely believe in can help. It's alright to feel sad and grieve for a period of time than force positivity to give you a feeling of dullness in the long term.

We are humans, not machines. We feel the good and the bad. Happiness is a part of life and so is sorrow, either ways we must embrace them. We need time to heal not only physically, but also mentally. The mind is more powerful than the body. It deserves the invisible bandage.

Now it's time to acknowledge the most beautiful person reading this and making it this far after a lot of patience. Yes, I'm talking to you reader! If you liked this message then do share it for someone who needs to hear it. And remember, it's okay not to feel okay. Peace.

- Rupak Bardhan