Be Careful How You Say It

“She’s measuring small again, so we’ll need to get another anatomy ultrasound.”

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These are not exactly the words an expecting mother of already-two wants to hear when she is just weeks away from delivering. But they are the words my wife heard just weeks before she was to deliver our daughter. They were delivered with a high level of concern, as it was the second time this particular provider expressed concern over the baby’s size, and although the 1st ultrasound didn’t sound any alarms, my wife was sent to another “just to be safe.”

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And so it was that we spent another few days a little more on edge than we would have liked. The results came back showing our daughter was on the small side, but “within the margin of error” which is something we as humans can all hope to hit in our lives I suppose. There was a follow up with another provider, one different than the last, and the one who would be delivering our daughter.

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“She’s measuring small again, but there is a wide percentile of acceptable and she is within it.”?

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This news was said with an upbeat, almost routine attitude. This provider went on to explain that our daughter was growing, and even though she was on the “low end,” human babies have a pretty wide range of acceptable, and given everything was going in the right direction, she expressed no concern other than making sure my wife and I weren’t unduly concerned.

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One message. Two providers. And two very different reactions based on their tone.

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We were quite relieved to hear that our delivering provider was not concerned. And as my wife, who also works in healthcare noted, it was an excellent learning opportunity on the power of tone and communication in healthcare. It’s important to remember your audience. And, if I may be so bold, pregnant ladies are among the most emotionally heightened anyone will care for! So, any odd tone or hint of less than great news can heighten an already heightened state.

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This lesson transcends healthcare too. Anyone who is in a high level of “mad/sad/glad/afraid” is prone to react more emotionally to any hint of big news. So watch what you say and how you say it.

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As for my undersized daughter?

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She was born at 21 inches. One and two inches longer than each of her big brothers, respectively. A beautiful baby that was all arms and legs.

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