Careers are Relationships

“My mama told me…you better shop around!”

Isn’t it interesting how in society it is totally okay to kiss a lot of frogs in your journey to find your lobster, but it hasn’t been as widely accepted in the career world?

How many times have you heard the adage about “job hopping is a bad thing”?

Answer: far too often.

In fact, our career paths resemble our love lives a lot more than we may realize.?There is a dating period, a commitment ceremony, arguing, love, and sometimes a breakup.

You may find yourself in one or all these places with your job.?And it is okay no matter what.?You are prone to good days and bad days.?The thing is not to let the bad days pile up and compound.?If those days are more frequent than not, you may need to move on or seek guidance.

Let’s take a more in depth look at a few of the stages you may be in with your work.

Dating

At this stage you are finding where and who you are.?The world is your oyster.?You have the freedom to explore all the options in the sea.

Now, you may run into a few people that may look down on this period, as they tell you that you need to commit.?But remember commitment is a two-way street.

Those who settle at this stage often find themselves racing through the other stages with no stop signs, as they eventually find themselves back in this stage, only next time it will be with bitterness and anger in their hearts.

Use this time to explore your soul needs and figure out what you need most out of a career.?Money may be the biggest factor, or perhaps it is something a little more intrinsic.?That journey of discovery is yours to take, and yours to make what you need of it.

Courting

Oh yes, you’ve found the one!?Or have you??You are done shopping for the right fit, and now you are looking to commit.?But do they want to commit to you?

Here is where most of the rubber meets the road, here is where you get to find out if you are compatible.?Does your soul match your soul mate?

They said and did all the right things to get you to change your social media status to “in a relationship.”

But you still have a way out.?You are committed only in your agreement to one another.?If they show, at this point, that they aren’t willing to grow with you, and support you on your path to a better and more complete you, then they may not be your match.

Hold yourself and those that you are thinking about committing to full time accountable to the standards that you expect for yourself.?Nothing less will ever be acceptable.

Engaged

They have asked the question!?They want to be linked to you for your entire career.?Hooray!

You are starting to realize the dream you’ve always had for yourself.?A loving, caring, supportive relationship that will be there for you through it all.

Your love is still young, and adventurous, but it is strong and ready to charge up any mountain or cross any river.?But now you must start making plans.

Do the offerings beyond the intrinsic line up?

The money structures, retirement benefits, insurance coverage, promotional opportunities, basic vision for the path of the relationship gets mapped out from this point.

Remember the ring is just a promise of a future together, it is not a guarantee of one.?That future needs to be built together, with the goal of getting stronger as you move along.

Married

Congratulations!

The paperwork is signed, you’re in place, and you intend on staying there forever.

But the relationship work hasn’t ended.?Now is when you build the most.?Now is when your lives start to meld into one.

Sure, you get to have your own identity in your personal time, but it will always be as a representative of who you’ve committed to.

Have kids, build a family, go on vacations together, support one another through thick and thin.

Marriage is work.?It is about living every single day with intent.?It is never about the party, or the honeymoon.?It is about all the days, weeks, months, and years after that knowing that you have everything you need in your life to propel you toward the best possible you.

Divorcing/Divorced

Sometimes you just grow apart.?It is natural that as time marches forward priorities begin to shift.

The key here is to try not to enter this stage with animus or anger.?Although it is ending, it is important to remember the good times you shared.

It is so tempting to speak negatively, and to poison the wells on your way out, but those comments can have an impact on all of those around you.

Your personal journey is about finding your center and understanding your own story.?And every story must come to an end.?Whether that end is through retirement, termination, or a new opportunity, it is vital that you enter your next personal stage with as much light as possible.

As you can see, it isn’t always a straight path.?Many of us will skip stages, repeat stages, or get stuck in others but if we are open to understanding that our path is our own, and there is no “cookie-cutter” path, we will all be that much closer to not becoming burnt toast.

Toaster Talk: The Original

Laugh With Me

Be Inspired With Me

“People visit?a wise man?complaining about the same problems over and over again. One day, he decided to tell them a joke and they all roared with laughter.

After a few minutes, he told them the same joke and only a few of them smiled.

Then he told the same joke for a third time, but no one laughed or smiled anymore.

The wise man smiled and said: ‘You can’t laugh at the same joke over and over. So why are you always crying about the same problem?'”

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Fun Fact: Around the world, the working week ranges between 40-44 hours per week, but some countries have a great attitude toward work-life balance! In France the average work week is 35 hours, The Netherlands?has the shortest work week in the world?at 29 hours per week. (Netherlands, here I come!)

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