Career Update

With an undergrad degree in journalism, I know not to bury the lede - so I'll start this post by sharing that my position was eliminated last Monday. I needed some time to think about how to share this news so publicly... what exactly to say, how to share in a professional way the range of emotions, and to wait to do anything until I gave myself space to grieve.

Many of you already knew, and all the phone calls, emails, and texts with heartwarming messages have made me both cry and laugh - which was much needed in an otherwise depressing week. I've heard from people I haven't worked with or spoken to in years - so THANK YOU to everyone who brought me a small sliver of happiness last week. 

Some of you must have been curious and awaiting this confirmation post, as the number of times my profile has been searched in the last week has been significantly higher than normal.

In the last seven days I've allowed myself to feel all the feels. And here's what I came away feeling most often. Allow me a moment of vulnerability...

• Frustration - What more could I have done to stand out and advance my career before this happened? Wasn't the work we were doing - saving the company money! - recognized and valued? Why my position, when I managed two different teams and was heavily involved in the BERGs across The Walt Disney Company?
• Sadness - I'm sad that a company making billions had to resort to job eliminations... yet again! I think this is the sixth one over the last decade just at ESPN?!? I'm sad that I won't be working with my talented teammates any longer, or the myriad of passionate people I've met over 22 years at ESPN. I'm sad that the plans we had to refine and improve processes will go on without me. I'm sad that the product is now, in a weird way, tainted because of this, and I want to be able to continue enjoying that Disney magic for years to come... 
• Anger - I'm mad that no one thought my job was worth saving. That I wasn't worth saving. I know everyone says it's not personal, and it's not performance based, so then what? They put everyone's personnel numbers in a hat and picked randomly? (that last part is a joke, but could you imagine?!?) I am mad how blindsided I was - although that was mainly on me, because I let myself think I was "safe" even after all these layoffs over the years.
• Relief - In a weird way, there's a part of me that's relieved. I graduated college and started at ESPN two weeks later, so it's the only professional job I've ever known. I grew up there. I honed my leadership skills there. I met my husband there, for crying out loud! Now I am being forced to find something else. So instead of floating down the lazy river, I have to summon up the guts to head down the waterslide and determine what I want to do next!

Many of you have said "let me know if you need anything" so here's what I need (please!):

• First... If you're hearing about my job elimination for the first time - don't respond with "I'm sorry" because 99.9% of you didn't have anything to do with it. Tell me it sucks, and tell me you're thinking of me, but don't be sorry. 
• Second... Think of me when you hear about an open position with your company and/or offer to look at my resume as an outside perspective. I'm not planning on rushing into anything, especially since my separation date is the end of next month. I'm not currently looking to leave Connecticut, although I am curious about what else is out there. My preference would be to find a company with an established D, E & I community that I could integrate myself into.
• Third, and probably most important here... I'm terrible about talking about myself and telling my story - which is funny/ironic because I had my teams write a commitment this year specific to telling theirs, sharing their successes, measuring value, etc. So if we've worked together, whether it was on a project or for a significant duration of time or if we interacted through my work with the BERGs at Disney, please consider giving me a recommendation on LinkedIn. This way I don't have to feebly attempt to humble brag about myself and future recruiters can read what others see. I am strengthened when I hear about the impact I've had or the value I've brought from other people, instead of assuming the outcome myself.

If you're still reading - thank you. Thank you for bearing with my long-windedness. Thank you for empathizing with me. Thank you for any future connections you may help me make as a result of this post. 

More to come on future plans, my strengths and skillsets, and job preferences... in another post ;)

#layoffs #espnlayoffs #espn #disneylayoffs #disney #bergs #twdc #keriwillis