Career Success Tips for Moms

As the Mom of two small children, I admittedly struggle at times with balancing a career with motherhood. Recently, I have started to reach out to my friends and colleagues to get advice on how they do it. And what I've found out is that I am not alone- we all struggle. So, in honor of Mother's Day, I thought I'd share six success tips that have been helpful for me.

1. It Takes Two

So, I'm about to get personal here. Two of the most important decisions in your life are who you choose to work for (your boss), and who you choose to partner with at home. I think this is especially important for women. My husband is a high school teacher, so he has a full plate. However, we are equal partners at home. There is no way I could keep my sanity being a Mom, while having a demanding career if I didn't have a true partner at home.?

2. Life Opportunity Cost

One ECON 101 lesson that has stuck with me is the concept of opportunity cost. As I've experienced life, I've learned it has applications far outside of economics. Every extra in life you say yes to, is a no to either something or someone else. Oftentimes, the no is to yourself or something you value. One of the ways that becoming a mom has changed me is that I've improved my ability to prioritize. After all, it's not just me anymore. If I work late, it better be important and valued because it's taking me away from my family. Always remember the cost.

3. Reach Out, Find Your People, & Ask for Help

Another trait about myself I've worked to change is being hesitant to reach out for help. I think this is common for women. Asking for help can be seen as being weak, incompetent, etc. After I had my 2nd child last Fall, I've really tried to break that wall down both professionally and personally. One of the things that I appreciate about my new employer are the groups where we can network with women outside of our team. Everyone needs a village of their people who they can be real with, which means both celebrating the wins, and people to leaning on during the storms. What I've found from reaching out to people is that none of us have it "altogether".?

4. Accept the Days of Less Than 100%

I saw the above image on Linkedin about a year ago that illuminated one of my insecurities when I became a new parent. "Pre-mom" me thought that if I was 5 minutes late to a meeting or anything else that didn't go to plan, then my day was ruined. Most days I felt like I was operating at close to 100% and that's what I was accustomed to.?

I'm going to be vulnerable here: the days after having a new child where you operate at 100% are few and far between. Between the sleepless nights, physical & emotional changes, etc., it's the most transformative period of your life. Even after the baby days, the unpredictability still pops up with sick days, etc.? Now, I've tried to accept the days when I have little in the tank. I try to give myself credit for showing up anyhow, then using whatever I have in the most effective and impactful way possible. Give yourself grace and demand it from the important people in your life.?

5. A Career Plan Begins With You

Just this week, one of the topics in a group I'm in at work was career planning and blind spots in making a career plan. I consider myself to be ambitious and goal oriented, but I hesitate to make one. I think Covid and other events have taught us all about the unpredictability of plans and how they can go astray for reasons outside of our control. What struck me was having a career plan isn't really about a job title, which is what I've always thought it to be. It must start with YOU - what are your values? What motivates you? Having alignment between a role and your values contributes greatly to your happiness and is important no matter how fancy the job title or how high the pay is.

6. Gain Confidence in Your Choices by Cutting out the Noise

There are so many choices that new parents make – particularly Moms. Working vs. stay at home. Daycare vs. Nanny. How to feed your kids. Schedule vs go with the flow. The volume of choices is overwhelming and the advice you get from others is even more so. Oftentimes, you will hear contradictory advice because different choices work for different families. Sometimes, you don’t even have a choice – having the option to stay at home vs work is one that many don’t have.

The decision that gave me the most “Mom guilt” was going back to work, even though I am not cut out to be a stay-at-home parent. Especially after I had my first, working was my normal and I needed normal. I was surprised by the judgment from some about the choices you make. Few quotes frustrate me more than “strangers are raising your kids” if you use daycare. What I realized about my guilt was I was internalizing the expectations of others. When I reminded myself of the reasons why working is the best decision for both my family & I, my guilt melted away. Like having a career plan, your decisions need to be made based off of what works best for you and your family.

In Closing

I hope these tips are helpful to all of the powerful working Moms I know, or those that are contemplating becoming parents. Happy Mother's Day!