A Career Mum's Secret Weapon

Recently, I was reading through articles I had written for my blog, “The Talent Guide Career Blog”, about the earlier part of my work life and couldn’t help but be thankful for how far I’d come.

At the time, it was a cathartic release for me to write about defining experiences along my career journey…

?…the time I resigned from a job before I got another one because I had become a stranger to my daughter…

…the long, lonely months of job hunting before getting a new job and ultimately starting a new career…

…the new job I got, despite attending the interview with my 7-month pregnant belly…

…the professional exams I passed even though I wrote them while 9 months pregnant and delivered my baby two days after my last paper…

Good times! LOL.

Looking back now, I laugh a little at my younger self. I didn’t realize that those experiences would turn out to be the easy part of being a career mum!

Starting a coaching and mentoring network, a non-profit organization, and a consulting company while juggling a 9 to 5 job, a teenagers’ ministry, and a husband and five children were waiting down the line!

This story is not unique to me. Many career women struggle to balance the demands of a home with the demands of a job.

They say that family comes before everything else and should not be sacrificed on the altar of a career. The ubiquitous “they” are not wrong.

But, for some career mums, working isn’t just about being a boss lady, being financially independent, or proving that you’re every bit as good as a man.

Sometimes it’s about contributing to your family’s survival.

Sometimes, it’s about pursuing a purpose greater than yourself.

Sometimes, it’s about finding an outlet for your multiple talents that fulfills you while delivering value to many.

How then can you do these while making sure your family doesn’t become a casualty?

Truth is, there isn’t one easy answer. However, I will share with you what has been working for me, what I call “a career mum’s secret weapon” – the Minas Mindset.

What is the Minas Mindset?

There’s a biblical story about a landowner who gave his servants resources, or “Minas” to trade and make profit with. One was given 10, another 5, and a third 1. They could manage those minas however they liked. The catch was that they would have to give an account of their dealings when he returned. Of the three, only two of them were successful in the assignment they were given. One servant returned the one mina without having done anything with it and was punished for his efforts…or lack thereof! The other two received an even greater reward.

For me, this represents an understanding that I am the sum of many parts. I am a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter…but I’m also a leader, a teacher, a helper, and a problem solver. All parts of me are valid and all must find an egress for expression. To deny one aspect would be to be untrue to myself and to disrespect my assignment.

Now, I’m not saying career would ever be more important than family in terms of VALUE. That should never be the case. What I’m saying is that per time, one might demand more of your TIME and ENERGY than the others.

What you don’t feed or water can’t grow, so sowing the right amounts of time and energy into all these parts of you means you will be productive in your multiple dimensions.

You’ve got to sow it to grow it!

So, how do you effectively attend to all of them without skewing one way or another? The truth is you can’t.?

In corporate speak, they call it “Work-Life Balance” and I can tell you by experience that the “balance” is a myth, an El Dorado…unattainable. Work-Life Harmony or Integration describes it a little better. After all, it's a lot of work, but only one life!

It recognizes that there will not always be a balance. One part of you will need more of you than the others per time.

• Your family will need you more than your career if your husband is facing a particularly challenging situation at work or if your children are dealing with the vagaries of growing pains.
• Your career might need you more when you sense it’s time to make a major move or when there is an ongoing, particularly sensitive project.

So, you need to make every moment count.

With family…

Be intentional about the QUALITY of the time, not just the QUANTITY. Schedule times to call and catch up with extended family. Block a specific time every week as “family time” where it’s all about them and none about work. Make beautiful memories and moments that matter.

I make sure to involve my family in my work by taking my children to speaking engagements and discussing decisions I want to make in my business with my husband. This way, it feels more like “our” thing, not my thing.

At work…

Be intentional about establishing enviable standards of delivery. Work smart and work hard such that you become recognized in your area of expertise. Improve through continuous learning.

Mentor up-and-coming professionals in your field and light the path they also can take to create their own career signatures. There’s no legacy like replicating the right character and career values for generations to come!?

The Minas Mindset means creating value at home and at work is mission critical, and that to be the best of ME, I must be at my best at both.

Will you join me?

Connect with me via social media at Oluwatoyin Puddicombe, toyintalkstalent, and t3torchbearers or t3torchbearersacademy.