Career Decisions…. Are You Being Authentic?

Over recent months, I’ve talked about how to change your values and what happens when you do this.?

I've also spoken at length about thinking about what you want from your career and that by knowing your core values you can change your career path.

It's really powerful and for me, when I did this everything changed.?

I started to make more authentic career choices and will continue to do so as I march into the second half of my career and life.?

So as we start the new year and for many, you start to think about a new job or a new career. Ask yourself this;

Are you being authentic? with the big career decisions, you could be making this year.?

See, I'm starting to see a similar pattern when working with clients.?

As we deep dive, and as we peel back the layers on why they feel stuck, why they lack clarity, and why they feel anxious and sometimes fearful, one thing is emerging.?

At some point, a career decision has been made that moved them closer towards the person they didn't want to become, and closer towards the job that they've now become stuck in.

Ouch.. It's painful. I recently had a coffee with someone who had moved to what they thought was their dream city, in their dream country only to find out that they always knew they would hate the job when they got there.?

Was it an authentic career decision? I’m not so sure.?

So why do we do that then??

Look, we all do it at some stage. I’m as equally guilty along my journey at various points. Ego and circumstances can drive these decisions. I get it more than anyone and I understand sometimes you have to take risks. I believe in risk, but I think that risk should still be an authentic risk, that you genuinely believed was the right thing to do at the time.?

My wish is that everybody can move towards their real authentic self and make authentic decisions that make them find deeper fulfilment.?

This is why I coach and why I've made this a key part of my practice.?

So how can you make authentic career decisions??

I could give many tips and exercises at this point, but we can do that another time.?

Here’s a big one;?

In Bronnie Wares book 'The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying', Bronnie maps out the stories of dying people. Bronnie is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives.

If you haven't read it, I strongly recommend it.?

I read it many years ago and it profoundly affected me as I was starting to question the unauthentic life/career decisions I was making.?

Here's a summary and Bronnie's thoughts...?

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

Powerful stuff right??

Take a moment to review and reflect on this, this week.?Maybe think about which one of the five resonate with you the most. Maybe get it written down in your journal. It could be the one thing you contemplate before making that next career choice. It could lead you to a complete career change, the one youive been dreaming of.

So, are you making authentic decisions about your career?

Deep down, I know you already know the answer to that.?

Is 2023 going to be the year when you move towards the real authentic you when thinking about your career choices??Do you feel a pull or tug to something more? Or is it you've just made career choices that you don't feel great about?

If yes, as always, I strongly recommend coaching.

It's the gift of life and can change everything for you.?

It did for me.?

Before I go please check out my resources below. These are all the things I work hard on to help you, become a better you!

Speak Soon.

Justin